We have some great stand-up comedians. Let’s admit it and give them their due. And yes, after a while the abuses will seem mundane and regular, especially if you are a Delhiite; jokes will get repetitive: there’s just that much fun you can poke at a catholic guy, a dark guy, a gay director, OMG-so-Punjabi girl, a very fat guy, a foul mouthed TV anchor and an easy-to-wrench-five-stars-out-of movie critic.
All India Bakchod (AIB) took on Arjun Kapoor (Arjun your smile is so creepy, when you smile, even Shakti Kapoor checks his top button) and Ranveer Singh (I’m not saying Ranveer is hyper, I’m just saying Preity Zinta tried to snort him backstage) in a little more than an hour-long caper they called AIB Knockout where a panel - which included Rajeev Masand, MTV’s Raghu Ram, comedian Aditi Mittal and AIB’s full repertoire, helmed by a ‘more-queer-than-a-three-dollar-note’ Karan Johar. It was all for charity so the filth was allowed to flow unadulterated.
The actors who have had their share of a lot of flops and some hits took on the jokes, digs and insults chest up as Mumbai ROFLed. The audience included stars like Deepika Padukone, Homi Adajania, Sonakshi Sinha, Alia Bhatt, Manoj Bajpai, Anurag Kashyap, Sanjay Kapoor who joined in the gag fest without taking any offence at jokes directed at them - these of course included Deepika settling for Ranveer since Ranbir is no longer available (Rohan Joshi recently moved from Malabar Hills to Santa Cruz, that’s like moving from Ranbir Kapoor to Ranveer Singh; Arjun Kapoor, you dropped those kilos faster than Deepika dropped her dating standards; ), Sonakshi’s ‘apparent’ boyfriend (Arjun, it’s good you’ve lost weight and are now dating Sonakshi Sinha. But we know they’re all rumours because you’re not allowed to touch carbs), Alia’s debatable IQ levels (Alia in the front row has no idea what ISIS is. Alia just to clarify, some of the products in your kitchen have the ISI mark and that is different. ISIS is a terrorist organisation), how Sanjay Kapoor and Sonam Kapoor are not the least talented in the nepotistic family and how Karan Johar went from hating Anurag Kashyap to loving him - the opposite of what Kalki Koechlin did (You know Karan Johar is now best friends with Anurag Kashyap so that he can get him some ‘indie cred’. It’s the first time in Bollywood, someone has slept their way to the bottom).
“How does it feel to be the only sad person in the country every time Virat Kohli scores a century Ranveer Singh?” and “ Ranveer Singh completed four years in the movie industry - one year of acting and three years about getting over Anushka Sharma.” Arjun has no romantic history, he was a fat - sorry! Exes were brought up, as were flops, Johar’s clichéd, NRI-obsessed films, sexcapades and everyone guffawed in unison and all is at peace in B’wood. The panel took happy turns in taking each other on as they read off cue cards. Case, point. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what let Ranveer and Arjun to steal the show with their foul-mouthed charm. They abused like school boys and enjoyed every bit of it.
Love it or hate it - AIB’s Knockout got the views they were aiming for and right now with the shares just multiplying every minute, it makes no difference if a miniscule fragment of the Indian Twitterati found the performance - ‘Meh!’ We laughed. A lot. But then we are crass like that.