I have a query regarding the last question asked to you by some person - ‘I am in high school...is it normal?’. My query is - is there possibly a way to end such an addiction (I’m myself in that age)? (This came to me from a guy called SR in context with my last column on porn/blue film addiction)
Hi SR, firstly relax. I mean just relax, close your eyes and THINK. After 30 years from now, you as a grown up, probably a dad, watching porn and your son walks in. How does that make you feel? Or maybe, you catch your child’ doing the same. Try and reverse shoes, change roles. This really helps! I suggest, start with changing the ‘addictive’ hours with any other sort of entertainment – music, movies or books.
I’m a father of a 14-year-old girl and off late I have been observing that my daughter is getting close to her private male tutor. I am worried, what should I do? - Ramesh Sinha, New Delhi
I suggest that you stop getting anxious and seek an appointment with the tutor outside the house. Talk to him politely over coffee and express your concern. Her studies, her career, her friends and then tell him that you feel she’s getting a bit too attached to him. Do mention that there’s nothing you suspect about him and this is your concern. Request the tutor to handle the situation casually but carefully.
I’m 26, male from Lucknow. My family is expecting me to marry next year but I don’t feel attracted to women. I feel happier to hang around with guys. Am I gay? I’m confused. Please help!
My first question to you is, have you ever had any affair with any girl? If your answer is ‘no’ then I think you should take some time out. Homosexuality is not a crime, but hiding sexual preference from a girl whom you are marrying is an offence. There are so many people with same sex attraction. You might come across one of them and then only you can know your orientation. Remember, it’s not your life alone, marriage involves the lives of two families.
I’m Ruchi, 24. I don’t like my boss. But he always tries to get close to me. I don’t know how to address this issue. Please help.
I understand your problem. HR etc can be taken into confidence but I suggest you try it your way. Avoid him carefully. Don’t let him understand the dislike as this will affect your job life. If you cannot face this situation, look for a new job.
I’m Kavita from Noida. I have been married for 4 years. My husband watches erotic movies and he tries to replicate the acts on me. I’m not comfortable with this. Please suggest.
Kavita, a lot of woman complaint of lack of sexual intimacy with their husband. In a way you look lucky that you have an adventurous husband. I think, you just need to have a very clear and friendly conversation with your spouse and explain to him about your comfort level.