Millennium Post

Paisa vasool and such

I shall not mince words today. I had a harrowing day trying to make national bank employees encash a simple cheque, which in the real world should have taken 5 mins flat, they took an hour and 15. Then I headed over to watch Kick. ‘Bhai ka movie hai, dekhna to banta hai!’ said a boy to his friend who was deliberating about what to watch at the ticket counter and of course holding the line.

‘I am only here because it is Bhai ka movie,’ I kept muttering till I was seated. 15 more minutes into the movie and Bhai ka movie was the only thing keeping Bollywood movie buffs still in their seats, I could tell. Do not, absolutely do not go for this movie unless you are a serious Bollywood lover and you would never miss Bhai ka movie. Otherwise, stay at home and do everyone a favour.

Sajid Nadiawala has killed logic and sent it to some parallel world where there is no Bhai. But, as always, this movie will have an incredible opening and will fly towards the Rs 200 crore club sooner than you can say Devil Lal Singh twice.

So. There’s Devi Lal Singh (Salman Khan) who moonlights as Devil on holidays. True story. And Dr Shaina (Jacqueline) who is heartbroken about having lost Devi Lal and is actively wooed by Devil and Supercop Himanshu Tyagi (Randeep Hooda).

Adding fuel to the fire is Shiv (Nawazuddin Siddiqui) who plays a pretty neat bad guy. He fortunately does not try to physically take on Bhai. That would have been blasphemy. But well then, Bhai ka movie hai...kuch bhi chalta hai.

Jai Ho had Salman saving the world with a simple stick figure formula. Kick has him playing Robin Hood with an eye mask. Of course he dances, sends people flying, romances and pulls off stunts.

Apparently four people are credited for the screenplay of this movie and Chetan Bhagat is one of them. I rest my case.

Bollywood and its enthusiasts have embraced Bhai for the crass, mindless, logic-defying movies he pulls off with elan. Kick will survive only because of that. A butt-kicking Salman Khan is fine, but not a teary-eyed one. Being Human can stay in the stores and off the screen.

Nadiawala has made sure that he uses Salman Khan, his style, his gait, his bhai-paanti to the hilt. Because let’s admit it, had he not been in it, Kick would have fallen well on its face and would have bombed off the box office and charts.

Nadiawala put all his money on Bhai’s ample shoulders and let him run loose. Devi Lal, Devil - same same! Don’t like Salman? As I said earlier - stay home, watch Animal Planet.
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