Parenting with purpose

Maturity is becoming a cause of concern for the parents and communities. By virtue of the evolution of varied phases in life cycle, parents are finding their kids stepping up towards their adulthood and slowly getting loosely connected with moral values. The fables of the childhood days gradually go to oblivion. The golden moments of the age-old grandmoms narrating a story to their one and only grandson or granddaughter do not uphold prominence, and efforts of up-bringing are nipped in the bud by today's adorable Gen Zers. Let’s dig deeper to understand the sickness encrypted into the value system.

The emergence of the nuclear family structure in the present scenario has brought a new dimension to the upbringing of children, often resulting in the frequent adversities in their behavioural expression. The discrete bonding of families gradually pushed children into utter isolation and, eventually, the demands became out bounded, which were situationally settled by unpleasant indulgences and over-brooded digitization.

Today’s generation is utterly nurtured by working parents and bridge luxuries, making the adamant nature of the children prominent, which gets reflected in their erroneous behaviour. As we are concerned about the climate change that leads to a lot of disastrous neurocognitive syndromes, on a similar note, it is observed that amid the typicality in the parenting and desolate upbringing for the flora and fauna of the nuclear family life, the moral values are buried unconsciously. It’s not a wonder to say that today, the relatives are strangers, grandparents are old haggards, and neighbours are troublesome to the modern generation, but the unending non-value-added social media chats on Facebook and Instagram with virtual friends are inexhaustible sources of inspiration.

The probe into this anomaly can be many and debatable, but on a common call, it’s not very wrong to say that the parents are either doing ‘free-range parenting, snow-plow parenting or tiger parenting’, or harming by hovering over their actions and reactions in becoming a ‘helicopter’. The lack of time and non-willingness to compromise with their career growth by the parents often provide a wide room for irrelevant comfort and warmth which, out of their immaturity, get translated into misuse of independence. Zero or negligible supervision, and absence of either parents enables the children to experiment their whims and fancies without being accountable for the outcomes to any, and this long-drawn ignorance of the parents with an idea of bringing up their kids in “Go-as-you-like” manner endangers their lives and gushes out the moralities from their lives. On the other hand, when the parents become lawnmowers or bulldozers, and surrender them wholly and solely for the smooth and uninterrupted rearing of their children, they are un-alarmingly poisoning the greeneries of the minds and hearts of the children. The unwavering effort of the parents in making the path uneven for the kids will be silently depositing the sediments of future ruins, and therefore, parents must make the kids to realize the intrinsic worth of the proverb “No pain-no gain’’ by structuring their life in a balance manner. On the contrary, there are parents who derive pseudo happiness in tagging themselves as the most trusted and over-protective ones who, in disguise, stop the natural power of the neural network of their adorable children to think, act and respond freely in times of need. This biased parenting style of making the kid topper in all that is being touched in life becomes an awful and uncontrollable demand, making the kids left with no choice but to become emotionally dumb in the midst of glowing academic scores. The over inquisitiveness in the name of parental protection to secure the future is also telling down upon the intellectual growth and development of children. There are parents who act as tigers, and this steady parenting demonstrates the idiocy of the parents, as their unfathomable wants derail the child from the growth path.

The need of the hour is to duly empower ourselves as parents and determine the adequacy of support before it fails to fructify the intrinsic growth. The best-balanced parenting could be the lighthouse parenting where an admixture of control and flexibility finds a stable equation, leading to the proper development of a child’s mind and health. As a parent, we need to assure the existence of consistent beacons of light of the shoreline, which will teach them the lessons to measure the odds and evens. It is judicious to hold them tightly so as to instil the moral values in them but, at times, there exists a need to unfasten the rope to strengthen their footprints in this volatile, uncertain, ambiguous and complex world. Apart from a mixed style of parenting, the implicit expectation of parents to develop an impeccable roadmap for their children often throws them into the path of despair, disgust, and agony. This leads to the emergence of inconsistencies in their behaviour. The mind, heart, and body need fresh air to breathe and blissful moments to meditate for peace and serenity, overcoming the din and bustle of parenting. The younger generation needs to tap into their hidden spiritualism to participate actively in decision-making. The power of the mind should be considered in their future steps.

Confinement, lack of daily healthy habits, and stiff competition for blind success have fuelled an indomitable curiosity for the unknown, which may often prove to be illicit, irrelevant, and punishable. Modern generation parents need to move forward to reawaken themselves and reconfigure their parenting style, which will ensure a reduction in the toxicity in their children's behaviour. The dexterity and unscrupulous behaviour of today's children bring to the fore the glaring need to adopt a strategic parenting style by leveraging psychological and intellectual development. Today's youth need to harness their untapped potential by making the best use of parental support and advice while also embracing the power of meditation to sustain grace and honour.

The writer is Assistant Professor, Dept of Commerce, Christ University, Bangalore. Views expressed are personal