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Of love and jealousy

Of love and jealousy
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I tend to get too jealous and that’s the issue that I have been going through. I get jealous when I find out that he has been going out to lunch with his female workers. <g data-gr-id="77">Please</g> advice.
<g data-gr-id="78">Radhaa</g>, New Delhi
Love does lead to possessiveness which leads to jealousy and distress. I do understand that his ‘not saying’ to you could be the reason for the cloud in your mind. I suggest, have a very clear talk and tell him that transparency of facts will make you feel better. As a boyfriend, I’m sure he will respect your thought and will help you too. At the same time, I sincerely suggest you to let loose of this virtual grip. Sometimes, such actions from either of the partners can become very claustrophobic for the other and can lead to fatal fall outs. Build faith and that is the only key to a successful relationship. Don’t over react and get hyper. Be cool and things will be fine!

My son is 15 years old. A few days back I saw his <g data-gr-id="84">cellphone</g> loaded with porn clips. We are extremely shocked as he comes across as a very decent kid! How to speak to him about this?
Name unknown
At his age, this probably is normal. The growing adults are always curious about sex. As they have limited scope to explore, pornography is a vent. Request you not to worry about this and let him handle his fantasies and desire his way. Just be watchful about the company he keeps and be a good friend to him. Don’t make him conscious about what you’ve seen as this will make him extra careful. Let him have a good journey towards manhood and treat him as an adult. Your boy is almost a man now and there’s nothing wrong about it!

I had a relation with a guy in college. Now I’m happily married for a year with another man. I’m not in touch with any other men. Suddenly my <g data-gr-id="85">ex boyfriend</g> has started texting and <g data-gr-id="113">mailing</g> me! He says he has some intimate pictures too! What should I do?
Name unknown
Try to handle this intelligently. Meet him over a cup of coffee and <g data-gr-id="92">explain</g> him that you don’t need him in your life. If he tries to blackmail you, explain him confidently that you have told your husband everything about your past. I think this will sort things out. If need be, tell your husband everything. That is your past and he will surely understand and be with you.

I come from a small town in Kanpur. I’m a student and I live with my uncle in the city. I’m 16 and I’m not sure whether I’m gay. How can I be sure? I’m very worried!
T.N, Agra
You are gay if you are sexually or romantically attracted to the same sex. It can be confusing to know if you are gay, bi or straight when you are still going through puberty. Not everyone grows through this period fully aware of their sexual identity. You should not label yourself at this age as it can all change by the time you have grown through and out of puberty. Sexual urges come in many forms. When we are young, sexual orientation is mixed in with all kinds of dynamic and sometimes uncomfortable things that we are dealing with every moment. There is no need to seek labels for these experiences, and in fact labels are often more harmful than helpful. As we mature and begin to seek and form important relationships with individuals, the sexual piece gets clearer and clearer.  It’s something you feel deep inside. You may not know for a while and be unsure, but it’s only something YOU know. No one else can tell you. Either way, listen to your heart and soul and trust that they will lead you in the direction that is right for you.

Send your questions to-roopshashotm@gmail.com
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