Millennium Post

No home for homophobics

No home for homophobics
I live in a hostel. One of my seniors is homosexual and tries to make advances. I'm very scared of him but don't know how to fight this out. Can you help.
Name unknown, New Delhi

You have to be very careful. I suggest, you should approach the 'threat' and be straight forward in explaining about what you feel. Don't be scared to face anything that appears to be a problem! If it still continues, share this with your peers in hostel and a few of your seniors whom you can trust. Don't threat him but be firm in letting him know that you're just not interested!

I had sex with my private tutor. He is married and is always telling me to continue having sex with him! I like him and don't want to lose him either. But I feel guilty because he's married!
Name withheld

Do not indulge in anything that you're uncomfortable with. These relationships usually don't have direction and end up painfully. Sex is a pleasure but only when infused with the right, positive feelings. Try not to spend anytime alone with him anywhere. If need be, change the tutor. However much you like him, but his marital status will always be a problem. If need be, change the tutor as studies is a different chapter and should be worshiped and teachers are to be idolised in life. Don't indulge in such guilty pleasures... It will land up hurting you a lot!

I'm a working woman married for 4 years. We are not planning to have children now. But our parents are really insisting! This is annoying to us. How to handle?
Seema, Lucknow

Starting a family is a very important decision and a couple should both mutually agree. This decision cannot be convinced by anybody else! As a mother you would have the maximum responsibility towards the newborn. Please plan the baby only when you are physically, financially and emotionally prepared. Tell your family members that you'll are planning it soon...'Soon' is an open ended term and let the chapter of parenthood happen naturally and peacefully!

People call me fat and I am overweight by almost 12 kgs. I try but somehow I remain fat. I have no problems but constant taunts demoralize me!
Miss Glory, New Delhi

I completely understand this. For some reason, these days society treats 'fat' as a kind of taboo. My suggestion, as long your health is not getting affected, take it slow. Yes, being in shape is medically, physically, emotionally very satisfying but don't do anything drastic to reduce. Consult a good dietitian and get your daily intake corrected. Go for walks, join a gym with a friend and do what you think makes YOU happy. Being fat isn't being unhappy and you shouldn't bother when words hit you. Just reply - I'm fat but fit, are you?

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