‘Nice guys can bore you’
15 Sept 2014 2:00 AM IST
My mom is an abusive, over dramatic annoyance in my life. Since I am only thirteen, I have no voice when it comes to expressing my opinion whenever a conflict between me and my mom arises. I’m getting very disturbed. Is there any way out?
Raamya, Haryana
Since you can’t voice your opinion, how about writing her a letter? I want you to make a serious effort to make your mother understand, how the treatment is effecting you. She needs to know that you have feelings, and opinions too, and your opinions matter. When someone is constantly being exposed to negativity it begins to take its toll. Mentally it causes conflict because you know you deserve to be treated better. You can become worn down emotionally and end up depressed, hopeless, and empty inside. Your mother needs to understand the damage she is causing you. Express yourself as vividly as you can and I’m sure that life will be better soon
Good luck!
I always land up with a wrong guy. Is something wrong with me in particular?
V. Raja, New Delhi
There is a subconscious part of us that draws us to particular people who trigger a familiar feeling. We think it’s chemistry when the fireworks go off, but what’s actually happening is that your inner drama queen is having a field day. You’re bored with the nice guys and crave attention from the man who acts disinterested. Some people think they will never have chemistry with someone “nice” and that could very well be true. If you don’t change your mate selection mechanism, you will subconsciously choose the same heartache every time. You will ignore the obvious red flags, believing, that “this relationship” will be different … but nothing changes. Don’t take stress. Enjoy each experience with a positive frame of mind.
I fear death. This has been happening over some months. Please help!
Name unknown
Learn to understand and accept your fears, Accepting your fears doesn’t happen overnight. When you first start addressing them, you may experience an increase in mental chatter. Our minds tend to fight us when we are close to overcoming challenges of any kind. For this obstacle, I recommend time alone. I’ve never been one to enjoy spending time alone, at least not for lengths of time. But I believe that peace of mind comes with the ability to be content with oneself without distractions. Once we can be alone with our minds, we can be more at peace and more prepared to face our fears. This simple practice, though crucial to overcoming fear, is not exclusive to it. It will help you tremendously in taking control of your mind, and can even lead to other benefits.
I love eating baby powder! How to stop?
Mrs. Dhote, Nagpur
At first I thought this question was a joke, but while searching the internet for an answer I realised this is a serious problem that a lot of people have. And while I’m not a doctor (or anything close!) this is what I’ve found out simply from reading what OTHER people have said to others with your problem. Most baby powder contains gypsum, which has trace amounts of asbestos, not the best mineral to be eating. This would be carcinogenic over a long period of time and in the short run could cause intestinal blockage, which is a medical emergency and very painful. The best thing you can do is to substitute corn starch or some other harmless starch for the baby powder. Moreover, you should also talk to a doctor about this.
Send your questions to – [email protected]
Raamya, Haryana
Since you can’t voice your opinion, how about writing her a letter? I want you to make a serious effort to make your mother understand, how the treatment is effecting you. She needs to know that you have feelings, and opinions too, and your opinions matter. When someone is constantly being exposed to negativity it begins to take its toll. Mentally it causes conflict because you know you deserve to be treated better. You can become worn down emotionally and end up depressed, hopeless, and empty inside. Your mother needs to understand the damage she is causing you. Express yourself as vividly as you can and I’m sure that life will be better soon
Good luck!
I always land up with a wrong guy. Is something wrong with me in particular?
V. Raja, New Delhi
There is a subconscious part of us that draws us to particular people who trigger a familiar feeling. We think it’s chemistry when the fireworks go off, but what’s actually happening is that your inner drama queen is having a field day. You’re bored with the nice guys and crave attention from the man who acts disinterested. Some people think they will never have chemistry with someone “nice” and that could very well be true. If you don’t change your mate selection mechanism, you will subconsciously choose the same heartache every time. You will ignore the obvious red flags, believing, that “this relationship” will be different … but nothing changes. Don’t take stress. Enjoy each experience with a positive frame of mind.
I fear death. This has been happening over some months. Please help!
Name unknown
Learn to understand and accept your fears, Accepting your fears doesn’t happen overnight. When you first start addressing them, you may experience an increase in mental chatter. Our minds tend to fight us when we are close to overcoming challenges of any kind. For this obstacle, I recommend time alone. I’ve never been one to enjoy spending time alone, at least not for lengths of time. But I believe that peace of mind comes with the ability to be content with oneself without distractions. Once we can be alone with our minds, we can be more at peace and more prepared to face our fears. This simple practice, though crucial to overcoming fear, is not exclusive to it. It will help you tremendously in taking control of your mind, and can even lead to other benefits.
I love eating baby powder! How to stop?
Mrs. Dhote, Nagpur
At first I thought this question was a joke, but while searching the internet for an answer I realised this is a serious problem that a lot of people have. And while I’m not a doctor (or anything close!) this is what I’ve found out simply from reading what OTHER people have said to others with your problem. Most baby powder contains gypsum, which has trace amounts of asbestos, not the best mineral to be eating. This would be carcinogenic over a long period of time and in the short run could cause intestinal blockage, which is a medical emergency and very painful. The best thing you can do is to substitute corn starch or some other harmless starch for the baby powder. Moreover, you should also talk to a doctor about this.
Send your questions to – [email protected]
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