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‘Men have a tendency to make false promises’

‘Men have a tendency to make false promises’
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During college days I had an abortion. I’m having an arranged marriage in January. I’m nervous. Will my husband get to know it?
Name withheld, Rajasthan

I suggest you should be transparent and communicate everything significant about your past to your husband. It’s rare but possible that there can be slight complications with your pregnancy in future. Any problems might dig up your hidden abortion secret. This kind of news, breaking later will lead to permanent breach of trust. It’s your past and someone who is your future partner should ideally have an idea of the roads you have travelled. Be honest and that will go a long way.

At work I have fallen in love with a married colleague. He claims he’s in love and will soon divorce his wife to settle down with me. I’m very much in love and don’t want any heartbreaks. I’m nervous too! What should I do?
Anita Arora, New Delhi

Don’t let your life be controlled by so many external factors. You two can marry only when he’s out of his present marriage. I don’t know how serious is he about coming out of that! Men sometimes have a tendency to make false promises too. Be careful about your life. Don’t get too serious until he comes out clean from his current marital status. 

We have been married for 5 years and now we have want to have a child. My husband doesn’t have any interest in sex. He’s always busy with travel and work. I’m getting depressed. How do I handle this?
Ritu, Nagpur

Hold him close the next time he’s around and just tell him what you feel. Talk, cry, fight, sob but communicate what your heart feels. 

I had a relationship with a Muslim guy in college. Now I’m happily married for a year with another man. I’m not in touch with any other men. Suddenly my ex boyfriend has started texting and mailing me! He says he has some intimate pictures too! What should I do?
Name withheld

Try to handle this intelligently. Meet him over a cup of coffee and explain him that you don’t need him in your life. If he tries to blackmail you, explain him confidently that you have told your husband everything about your past. I think this will sort things out. If need be, tell your husband everything. That is your past and he will surely understand and be with you.

I am a housewife and have got involved sexually with my husband’s friend. I’m guilty and scared. Please advise.
D Rai, New Delhi

The body is very demanding. Sometimes much more than the mind. Don’t be nervous. What has happened cannot be undone. Be careful that the fire of your passion doesn’t engulf your family life. Be super alert and handle yourself. Try to accompany your husband on tours and plan vacations together. This will make situations better for sure. Enjoy life but carefully!

Have a love or life query you cannot find an answer to? Send your questions to - roopshashotm@gmail.com
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