Khamosh! Please!!!

Peene ki capacity, jeene ki strength, account ka balance, aur power ka khauf kabhi kam nai hona chahiye - and while you watch Once Upon Ay Time in Mumbai Dobara (QUATIMD), your infinite patience should also not waver. You shall commit high crime or you shall sue them. Either way - you will do a world of bad to your sensibilities.

QUATIMD comes dutifully after the Ajay Devgn-Emraan Hashmi starrer Once Upon a Time in Mumbai. The latter had some whistle-worthy dialogues - 'Sher se hal chalaoge toh kisaan toh marega hi' and 'Hamari tasveerein kheench ke apni dukaan mein laga lena ... kabhi zaroorat pade, toh dono mein se ek bhagwan chun lena'. But that was a long time ago.

After some insane promotional overdrives, QUATIMD hit screens with some decent expectations. Akshay Kumar was all gung-ho about his negative role and to be fair, it seems like he thoroughly enjoys it. But that is about all QUATIMD is worth.

Shoaib, (Akshay Kumar) an all-powerful don, picks Aslam (Imran Khan) off the streets and over time Aslam becomes one of his most trusted men.  As luck (or Bollywood) would have it - both men fall for the same girl - Jasmine (Sonakshi Sinha). 'Ladkiyaan jab roti hai toh bahut saare reasons hote hai, lekin jab ek ladka rota hai toh wajah sirf ladki hoti hai' - get the basics?

QUATIMD seems to be all about mindless painful dialogues that make you want to bang your head against the seat in front very hard. Not withstanding our personal bias for Khiladi Kumar, the actor can pull off a bad act. He is decently menacing but the dialogues, oh my god the dialogues. Sorry, they just kill it all. Imran Khan takes a while to find ground, but then Aslam grows on you. Sonakshi should have sat out of this one. Lootera did her good - QUATIMD wouldn't. The 1.5 stars is just for the men.

Should you watch the movie? We say - don't. Surely one might try testing their limits - but there are other, better, cheaper ways to do that. 'Meri shakal pe mat jaana, kehte hain mera dimaag museum mein rakhne layak hai' and 'Doodh mein nimbu jisne daala, paneer uski ho jaata hai' - we leave you with that.