Millennium Post

Keep calm and be wise

Keep calm and be wise
I have fallen in love with someone who is engaged to a friend of mine. We had physical intimacy but now we are off. I love him, I don’t know what to do!
Kaveri, Noida
You’ve got yourself into a fine pickle. This guy is very deceitful, and the poor girl he is going to marry should be made aware of this, otherwise she is going to have a miserable marriage! You know you should walk away, don’t you? It is hard, it will break your heart but you will get over it and move on. You are a lovely person and deserve better than this man. And always know, if you’re not good enough for him now, you’ll never be. He’ll just drop you when someone else better comes along, if he doesn’t already have others. Let me know what you end up doing. All the best to you.

My girlfriend is a compulsive liar. I’m extremely upset. Why does she lie to me?
Name unknown
There are people who lie and then there are liars. All people, at some point or another, lie. White lies exist but we often substitute the word “excuses” for “white lies.” But it’s basically the same thing. On the the flip-side, there are habitual liars. These people have made a habit out of lying. Sadly, here are some hard truths about liars.Think about it, why do people lie? What are some of their motives? They don’t want to look stupid, they don’t want to be wrong, they don’t want to let people down, they want to keep everyone happy, they want to get what they want. All of these motives have the “self” at the center. Anyone who lacks the courage to look at the truth is a coward. Cowards are really hard to love. They will perpetually frustrate you. Instead of admitting their shortcomings, their failures – their basic humanness – they will lie in order to cover it up. Please understand where you stand and decide where you want to take our future with her. Too much frustration will break you.

I am 42 years old. My wife left me one and half years back . Now I am very scared to get into a new relationship. So please tell me how to come out from this terrible situation.
Joseph, Noida
At the first step you will have to honestly evaluate the reason for which your wife left you. Then only you can make your mind stable. Blaming the women of the universe for a single person is really not justified! Now you will have to help yourself by deciding what you want in your partner. Your previous experience itself will help you a lot. For getting re-married I would advise to keep both your eyes and mind open. It may be a good idea to visit a counselor and discuss the whole thing with him or her. That would help you in rescuing from the unnecessary burden of betrayal and guilt in your head.

I can’t get over my past marriage. My ex partner is married and looks happy too. I’m somehow not being able to get over the divorce and land up calling him at times. How can I forget him and carry on? What’s your suggestion?
R. Kapoorr, Maharastra
Well, it’s a matter of a decision that led to the divorce and it is a matter of another decision to stay away. It might take many weeks or years to get over this broken marriage but as your partner is already settled, you should refrain from communicating. Focus and divert your attention on other things. Keep yourself busy with work and friends and I sincerely wish you the power to conquer all temptations.

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