'It's not a sin to get attracted to someone'

Its not a sin to get attracted to someone
I’m married for 6 years. I have a 2-year-old son. But, I have no physical chemistry with my husband. He is too fast in bed! I sometimes feel attracted to other men but I don’t indulge in it. What should I do?
Name withheld, Noida

Physical need is a very basic need. I suggest, you both consult a doctor. Consultation and medication can improve your partner’s ability. Besides, you can have a very transparent chat with him. Sometimes, women fail to express their desires and that can leads to dissatisfaction
You have written about getting ‘attracted’ to other men. It’s one life, one chance. So, if ever you land up with someone else, just let it be. It’s no ‘sin’. Just be careful that the ignited fire doesn’t touch the house. 

I’m a mother of a teenager. My daughter is becoming too shy. She’s becoming unsocial and refuses to go out for anything beyond her educational world. I’m worried as she wasn’t like this before!

Kavita Jaiswal, New Delhi

Kavita, may be your daughter is going through the transitional phase of adolescence.
They want their own world, their own way. It’s quite normal. We all ‘change’ in some ways during this phase. May be, you can chat her up like a ‘friend’. Enrol her in some activities of her choice .
Encourage her to organise small parties. A confidential chat with her close friends can also help you understand her way of life. If you see that the situation is out of your hands, consult a student counsellor. I think it’s a phase and your angel is perfect.

I’m Suneil from Haryana, I am in 11th standard. I have developed a huge crush on my Biology teacher. I’m unable to concentrate on anything. I can’t express this to anyone. Need your help! What should I do?

Suneil this is common. This falling for teacher has been there since ages. The good thing is, you will concentrate more on her subject in school. Anything she teaches will have more impact on your mind. In all probability, she will not reciprocate your feelings of attraction. You need to get realistic and search for a real partner.  

I’m out of a marriage. It was a bad one. My ex-husband was an alcoholic and would torture me every night. I’m too scared to have another relationship. I can’t trust any man, it seems.
Name withheld, Gujarat

I completely understand the long term effects of a bad marriage. It’s ugly and the scars remain. I suggest, take it really slow. Assuming you have a work life, please concentrate more on that. If you are not working, try and look for one. Don’t rush into any relationship or marriage. Work on your mental health by engaging in interesting activities. Do anything and everything that makes you happy. You are most important and once you are steady explore relationships.

My friends have lost their virginity and mock me as I’m yet to have sex with someone.
I’m 22. Is it abnormal to be a virgin? I’m really confused.

Karan, New Delhi

There is NO perfect age for first sex. You are an adult and you should only let go of yourself when you find the person you want to get close with. Don’t get into the trap of peer pressure at all. Sex is important but losing it early isn’t mandatory.

My father in law is retired and stays at home all day. He’s always watching TV in his room and I have realized that he watches pornography at home! I have young kids at home and I’m tensed. What should I do?

Name witheld, Gurgaon

Well, as you have written that your father in law is watching it in his room, there’s not much you can do. In fact, I suggest, let it be. He has his right to do what he wants in his own space. As there are kids around, just ensure, the door is closed.

Have a love or life query? Send your questions to- roopshashotm@gmail.com
Roopsha Dasguupta

Roopsha Dasguupta

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