Is it love?
Can you suggest how to understand if it’s love or just an infatuation?
Taraa, New Delhi
Infatuation can lead to love. Yet, here is what I feel:Love develops gradually over time. Infatuation occurs almost instantaneously. Love can last a long time. It becomes deeper and more powerful over time. Infatuation is powerful, but short-lived. Love accepts the whole person, imperfections and all.
Infatuation flourishes on perfection – you have an idealised image of your partner and you only show your partner your good side. Love is much more than physical attraction. Infatuation focuses primarily on the physical. Love considers the other person. Infatuation is selfish. Love is being in love with a person. Infatuation is being in love with love.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with two people being infatuated with each other, just as long as both people recognise the relationship for what it is. Good luck to you!
I’m in a wrong relationship. I’m broken. What can I do?
Several actions can be taken to rid ourselves of negative relationships.First, you can attempt to fix the relationship. Explain that you’re not attempting to change them as a person; you simply want to change how your relationship works.
Finally, ask them what they’d like to change about the relationship. Ask them how you can add more value. Listen attentively, act accordingly. Or, if you’re unable to change the relationship, you can end it altogether.
This is incredibly difficult, but it applies to any relationship. If someone is doing nothing but draining your life, it’s perfectly acceptable to tell them “This relationship is no longer right for me, so I must end it, I must move on.” It’s OK to move on.
I’m a widow, 38. I don’t know whether or not to remarry. What’s your view?
D Bhagat, Uttar Pradesh
Your life, your choice. If you truly feel that you want to settle down, please do. If that inch of doubt remains, wait for the one who might wipe the ‘whether or not’ syndrome someday. If love rules, please follow the heart. If it doesn’t, just live your life the way that makes you happy. Time is the only power and you should be your boss. Don’t take any decision unless you are sure about it.
My husband sleeps immediately after we make love. This has been happening for many months. I need to talk to him too. Please help!
S Sinha, West Bengal
Well since it is apparent that good love puts him to sleep, why don’t you find other times to talk to him? Maybe you should make a time where you can have just the cuddle time. Time where you to just lay in the bed and talk or you can sit on the couch and talk.
Don’t try to keep him awake, cause as soon as you do and he falls asleep you will be mad, even though this is something he has been doing. Just find a better time and let him get his sleep after good loving. Happy life ahead!
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