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‘If he’s guilty, he won’t admit it’

‘If he’s guilty, he won’t admit it’
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My younger sister is mixing with the wrong kind of friends. She’s 19 and we are terribly worried. Please advise.
Rajeev Shaw, Nagpur


Just sit down and have a discussion with her. Explain and express your concern and worry. This explanation should be more like a friend and not like a guardian. Help her understand life and help her fix her dreams. Remember, Always treat her like an adult and be a friend to her.

I feel my husband is into a relationship. I asked him many times, but he has pointedly refused. I’m not convinced but don’t know how to find the truth.
Name withheld, New Delhi


It’s quite natural that if your husband is guilty he will not own up. You have two options. One, don’t stop asking questions till he tells the truth. Second, hire a private investigation company who would charge you a sum and would hand over the complete day-to-day schedule of your partner along with relevant photographs and evidence. I suggest, don’t linger in this shadow of suspicion for too long. Decide and delve into the situation tofind the solution. Once you have enough proof, face him and sort it out soon. All the best!

I’m suffering from depression after I lost my mother last year. I’m unable to cope up. Please help.
Arjun, Noida


I completely understand what you are going through. Losing a parent/near one is a very difficult situation. But, life goes on and the show must go on too. I suggest, divert your mind on things that you like to do. Enroll in some hobby, explore an interest, meet friends, plan a vacation. Always remember, your mother is watching you and she gets very upset seeing you unhappy! Your smile is not for you but for her. You will have to control your depression and move on with a positive approach. All the best!

My daughter has developed the ugly habit of smoking. I’m very upset. What can I do to help her come out of it?
Diya Kapoor, New Delhi


You can directly tell her how you feel towards her habit. Make her conscious about your feelings. We all know the dark truth about smoking but kicking the butt is one’s own decision. This could be just a phase but you as a parent should insist so that she quits soon. Be firm but do not nag. Leave reading materials on quitting techniques on her desk/room. Emotional blackmails works wonders on kids and I’m sure she will soon realize and make you a happy parent!

My wife and my mother are always breaking into fights. I feel helpless. What should I do?
Dalip, Punjab


Dalip, you are in a sandwich situation. Both these relationships are very important and hence you have to be very careful in handling the emotions of the two. Firstly, try not to take ‘sides’ and always be neutral. Judge the situations and then handle it. If nothing is working, start your family set up independently (if you live with parents) or else change the city. And, please be sensitive about your wife’s expectations.

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