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How ‘bout some Kim-o-therapy?

How ‘bout some Kim-o-therapy?
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It’s been a while since I’ve written about music. Which is a little unsettling considering the fact that this column was supposed to be, primarily, about music and all associated paraphernalia. I’m partly to blame for this because my interests are a little too varied. I like to have my fingers in multiple pies. But, this week I’d decided to write about music. And, then a bootylicious lady decided to ‘break the Internet’ ruin my plans!

A lot of you must have seen Kim Kardashian’s champagne picture by now. Those of you who haven’t, have undoubtedly read/heard about the risqué photoshoot for the Paper magazine. Try as hard as you can, but there’s no way to miss Kim. I’m not her biggest fan but, there’s no denying her marketeering capabilities which is no mean feat considering she hasn’t really done anything measurably worthwhile in her 34 years. So, what is it really that she’s doing? I may not particularly like her, but I have to admit that she’s doing a fabulous job of marketing herself.

Earlier today I came across a hilarious excerpt from Tina Fey’s 2011 book Bossypants. Tina, one of my favourite artistes, wrote, “…every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.” That really ought to sum it up, but, does it? I laughed heartily at Fey’s thinly veiled barb. Of course, her intentions were noble, and rightly addressed women’s never-ending struggles with their body image.

But(t), an article by former People TV editor Jason Lynch helped me understand why I wasn’t quite able to get Kim out of my head. He wrote, “…Kardashian…never tires of selling herself and her family. Whether it’s…Keeping Up with the Kardashians…her 72-day marriage to NBA player Kris Humphries, her lavish wedding to Kanye West, keeping the entire tabloid industry in business, or her nonstop selfies, Kardashian remains laser-focused on doing whatever is necessary to stay in the spotlight, and keep her fans begging for more!”

Kim has gone from being Paris Hilton’s sidekick (yes, at one point in time she was employed as Hilton’s PA and closet organiser) to being a businesswoman who’s mastered the art of being everywhere and still leaving fans wanting for more!  A few weeks back we were all up in arms, and rightly so, when hacked intimate photos of female celebrities were released. And, now one naked celebrity is happily spreading her most intimate photographs across the world, and we can’t seem to stop talking about it!

There is no right or wrong here. Kim is, unapologetically, herself. And, she deserves to be given credit for ensuring she remains in the spotlight even when contemporaries like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie have seen their stocks nosedive and been relegated to the sidelines. You may choose to not acknowledge her fashion or acting skills, but you have to doff your hat at the way she has catapulted herself to the pinnacle of success through perseverance and a genuine love for the spotlight! You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape Kim!

The way Kim has used social media to her advantage and laughed her way to the bank ought to be a module in itself at B-schools. It’s time to stop ridiculing her and start taking her seriously. And remember, every time we write about her, make jokes about her, post spoof videos/pictures, her stock only gains. As they say, any publicity is good publicity!

And, for those who wish to follow in her footsteps, you can download her ridiculously successful app Kim Kardashian: Hollywood which is free but requires in-app purchases for players to upgrade their characters as they try to become virtual stars like Kim. It generated $43 million in sales since its 27 June launch through the end of September, and has been downloaded more than 22 million times. Kardashian is earning an estimated $700,000 per day from it. If not the Internet, we can certainly help her break the bank!

Malini Banerjee is a snotty single child, mountain junkie, playback singer, Austen addict, hopes to soon finish writing her debut novel, and dreams of singing alongside Buddy Guy

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