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Dark Shadows has all elements: vampire, witch, werewolf, mind-blowing special effects and, of course, Johnny Depp. Alas, Tim Burton manages to twist them all into a parody that, even by his over-the- top standards, is a bit too much to take.

Given that we have had our share of Twilight sagas, The Vampire Diaries and True Blood, what on earth was the team Dark Shadows thinking? That the audience would applaud when the witch cracks like porcelain?

Or that they would titter when Johnny Depp dead pans about Alice Cooper (the ‘70s heavy metal demi-god, who incidentally, makes an appearance in the film) being the ugliest ‘woman’?

The cult television series, Dark Shadows, which inspired this film, must have had a lot going for it. But the film had a flimsy storyline to bank on – rivalry between vampire Collins and witch Anglieque Bouchard, who was supposedly obsessed with Collins that when her love was unrequited, she turned him into a vampire, chained him and buried him. Almost 200 years later, in America’s blooming hippie era, out pops vampire Collins.

He takes on the witch – and this time comes out a winner. Oh, yes, he’s given a second chance at true love in a lookalike of his earlier ‘true love’.  

Johnny Depp, it is said, was obsessed with the 200-year-old vampire, who was known for his ‘cold elegance’ when he was growing up. Perhaps, that’s why he has taken the cold a notch up, freezing any hint of life out of his Barnabas.

By default, the character playing his ‘distant relative’ a spaced out flower child, representation of the hippie era in which the film is set, wins hands down with her bee-stung lips and wiped out expressions.
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