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Millennium Post

Hell no!

Suppose you were an actor trying to make it decently big, you have done one film and you got some pats on the back. Then you go start dating an actor known for gritty, tongue-in-cheek hatke roles. Since you clearly cannot manage to bag a single other project, your boyfriend decides to make a movie for you and lets you play lead. All’s happy in that paradise but here’s a pointer - don’t be a part in a project that your boyfriend draws up for you. It’s like pity-fuck. And that dear Preeti Desai, isn’t any good.

I technically have summed up One by Two for you right there. But well then, I don’t mind bantering a tad more.

As one would have gathered from the trailer, Amit (Abhay Deol) and Samara (Preeti Desai) don’t have what they want. They are bored and floundering, one with a broken heart and the other with a lack of direction and purpose. And as life teaches us, these above factors are mostly man-made disasters.

While Amit tries to get his old girlfriend back, Samara tries to make it big in a reality dance show. Their paths cross and re-cross, like contrived copies of Hollywood rom-coms but a farting man in his late 20s has ceased to be funny since American Pie perhaps (or even earlier). Did anyone tell Deol and Devika Bhagat that? 

Amit’s retarded game plan gets Samara evicted from her dance show. Which actually is a relief because she can’t dance. Not at all. Gyrating and tossing your hair is not dancing, I have said it about Katrina’s recent Filmfare performance and I say it again. Either learn how to dance and then play the part or get out! and who punches the air and says ‘Kaboom!’? Desai has clearly ODed on the old Batman and Robin a bit too much.

One by Two irritates you to the core because you seem to be sitting indefinitely waiting for something to happen. It doesn’t. The only saving grace of the movie are the veterans. For a director who had a role to play in Manorama Six Feet Under, Ladies VS Ricky Bahl and Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Bhagat either hates Deol or she hates Deol and Desai together.

 I should have just watched 12 Years a Slave.
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