Millennium Post

‘Having sex before marriage is a wonderful idea’

‘Having sex before marriage is a wonderful idea’
We don’t have a kid. I want to adopt but my husband and his family are not keen! What can I do?
Divya, New Delhi
The decision to adopt is a very important one. This has to be a mutual one, well planned and executed by you and your husband. The family members have lesser roles to play. As your husband isn’t keen, your target should be to convince him into this. Once he realizes how much you want it to happen, he surely will change his mind. Your conviction will help change his mind. Good luck!

My father died when I was 3 years old. My mother got married to my uncle’s friend. He is an alcoholic and beats my mother. I’m 13 years now and feel too helpless.
Zina, Ahmedabad
The most important thing is YOU. You have to concentrate on your studies, career and your future. You’re the one who will grow up to be your mother’s strength and support. She must be tolerating this present situation to ensure a good future for all. If it gets impossible, approach the man and warn him of legal steps that you can take against him. Domestic violence is a crime and he can be punished.

My spoken English is very weak and I feel very inferior when I go to clubs or discos! What can I do to overcome this?
Asif, Agra
The only way to overcome it is to face it strongly. Join a spoken english class and practice speaking it whenever you have the opportunity. Read english newspapers and magazines aloud in front of the mirror atleast for half hour every day. Watch english news channels as often as you can. Even if you make mistakes, don’t stop trying. It’s just practice and confidence that will make you learn anything. Be patient and give it time. Am sure you will learn fast and stop feeling inferior in front of others. 

How important is it to have sex before marriage? Is it compulsory?
Preity, Gurgaon
Physical chemistry is a very integral part of any relationship. In a love marriage, the scope of exploring the physical aspect is much higher and most couples do have sex before marriage. Arranged marriage restricts the sexual relationship between partners. In some cases, the sexual orientation or preferences in bed of a partner shocks the other and turns the fate of the marriage. Undeclared homosexuality or impotency affects the course of the marriage. Hence, it’s advisable to love, explore, spend great moments in a mature, adult relationship so as there are no ugly surprises later. Makes life warmer, spicier and hotter!

I love someone who is a compulsive flirt. He has relations with many. Many ‘close friends’ as he says. I still can’t get over this and hope he will love me someday, realize my emotions.
Roopa, New Delhi

It’s a gamble that you are playing. Don’t be hopeful that the music will play and the prince will arrive on a white horse and take you away! He seems to be a player, the one who keeps an excel sheet to maintain a database of his ‘close friends’! I suggest, you carry on with your life and don’t expect too much from this man. He seems to be the sort who doesn’t know what he wants from his love, life or his lovelife!

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