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‘Growing adults are curious about sex’

‘Growing adults are curious about sex’
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My son is 17 years old. A few days back I saw his cellphone loaded with porn clips. We are extremely shocked as he comes across as a very decent kid! How to speak to him about this?
Mrs Mehra, Chandigarh
At his age, this probably is normal. The growing adults are always curious about sex. As they have limited scope to explore, pornography is a vent. Request you not to worry about this and let him handle his fantasies and desire his way. Just be watchful about the company he keeps and be a good friend to him. Don’t make him conscious about what you’ve seen as this will make him extra careful. Let him have a good journey towards manhood and treat him as an adult. Your boy is almost a man now and there’s nothing wrong about it!

I had a relationship with a Muslim guy in college. Now I'm happily married for a year with another man. I'm not in touch with any other men. Suddenly my ex-boyfriend has started texting and mailing me! He says he has some intimate pictures too! What should I do?
Name unknown

Try to handle this intelligently. Meet him over a cup of coffee and explain him that you don’t need him in your life. If he tries to blackmail you, explain him confidently that you have told your husband everything about your past. I think this will sort things out. If need be, tell your husband everything. That is your past and he will surely understand and be with you.

My father died when I was 3 years old. My mother got married to my uncle's friend. He is an alcoholic and beats my mother. I'm 13 years now and feel too helpless.

Mehnaaz, Ahmedabad

The most important thing is YOU. You have to concentrate on your studies, career and future. You’re the one who will grow up to be your mother’s shoulder and strength. She must be tolerating the present to ensure a good future for all. If it gets impossible, approach the man and warn him of legal steps that you can take against him. Domestic violence is a crime and he can be punished.

I had a miscarriage right after marriage. We want a child but it's not maturing. I'm married for 2 years. My in-laws are behaving very rudely because of this. What can I do to make things better?
S.Lali, New Delhi

Just concentrate on your life and be positive. Consult the doctor and follow the advice. I’m sure everything is perfect. Don’t let external matters affect your mind. Be happy, be strong and all will be good.

Send your questions to –  roopshashotm@gmail.com

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