Millennium Post

Goodbye my lover

Goodbye my lover
I am a 23-year-old man. My girlfriend had a crush on a guy a long time ago. She hasn’t spoken to him for almost a year now. However, she still keeps talking about him all the time. How do I make her stop talking about this other guy?
Tanveer, New Delhi

Are you sure your girlfriend is aware of the heartache she is causing you? Sometimes people do things unintentionally, unknowingly. Please stop fuming over this communication gap only in your heart and try telling her how you feel. Express. I am sure she will understand and you guys will be fine together. Just be open about your feelings and don’t worry so much. Love is always meant to go a long way if it is true. Talk it out, sort it out and sail smoothly. Good luck!

My husband is determined to live with his joint family. But, <g data-gr-id="71">its</g> killing me. I come from a peaceful nuclear family and living with several people is a pain! What to do?
Name unknown

I’m sure you knew the family and its members before stepping in. It’s difficult to convince a man to move out of his <g data-gr-id="74">set up</g>. You should not lose hope and request him to look for an alternate address close to the original house. Explain him with love, tears and pleads. Let’s hope he understands your problem and take steps accordingly. Wish you peace.

I’m in a relationship with a man for last four <g data-gr-id="72">years</g> but the man does not commit marriage. What are the signs that the man is not ready to commit?
Devi, Bangalore

If your man is not ready to commit, he also will ideally tell you so. And <g data-gr-id="68">may be</g> you can catch these following signs <g data-gr-id="69">too</g>:
1. If your man doesn’t share himself with you, tell you who he is, what he likes and dislikes as well as his hurts and successes, this may not be the right man for you. By being cautious and keeping you out of his life, he is giving you the message that you do not <g data-gr-id="75">count ,</g> you are not that significant to him.

2. If he does not bring you home to meet his family or children from prior relationships, then he is not committed to you. Many sons will not bring a date home to meet their family until they believe they have met the person who will be a part of their lives forever.

3. If your man is withholding and secretive about where he is going and with whom, then you have a problem. If a partner needs to keep a private ‘free’ schedule, he is telling you, in no uncertain terms, that he does not want to be tied down to you.

4. If your fellow drops your hand in public, doesn’t take you out on dates, but rather suggests wining and dining only at home... he is sending you a signal that he does not want to be seen with you. You can always rationalise why your dates are connected to down time at home, but nevertheless, if you listen to your inner voice, you will hear that he “likes” you, but does not “love” you. And, if your relationship feels like you are holding hands, but that if you let go, he’ll be gone... then you are definitely in denial. Wish you the best dear!
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