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Friends do cost a thing

Friends do cost a thing
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On the occasion of ‘Friendship Day’, its time to pen down the rules for you and I.

Don’t Date a Friend’s Ex
This rule applies to dating as well as friendship. If your pal went out with someone, that person is now off-limits for you. This is true for a couple different reasons. First, you need to support your friend through their breakup. This means that when they are angry and hurt over something their ex did, you need to have their back, which includes listening to them, being empathic, and standing up for them if need be.

There could be some exceptions. Sometimes, but only after enough time has passe,  it wouldn’t be difficult for your friend to see you with their ex. This can happen when they have fully moved on and wish both you and the ex well. If you’re in doubt about dating a friend’s ex, talk to them first.

Don’t Steal Friends
Some folks recommend stealing your friend’s pals as a way to increase your social circle, but consider this scenario: You introduce two friends who had not known each other. The three of you have a great time, but soon after, you can’t get a hold of one of the friends.

Your calls and emails are ignored, and you find out later that your friend has been hanging out with the other pal you introduced them to. Your friend is now doing things with your other pal that they used to do with you. In the meantime, you’re sitting at home.

Take Turns
Ideally, friendship is about sharing, which means that you each take turns deciding which activities to do, where to meet, and who should pick up the tab. But taking turns is about more than that.Friends need to share the limelight, give and receive empathy equally, and never take each other for granted. While relationships are never one-hundred percent equal all the time, the goal should be that you go out of your way to help your friends.

Priority list
Friends show up when they say they are going to, but it’s also more than that. You want to demonstrate that you can be someone, your friend will be able to count on for the small things (showing up for lunch) and the big ones (when they go through divorce or break up, lose a parent, or get fired from a job.)

By that same note, don’t be the friend that cancels at the last minute or waits to RSVP until you’re sure you have no other plans. In short, do the things you say you’re going to do.

Be proud of each other
Jealousy and comparison are absolute NO-NO! Sometimes we have this ugly, dormant trait. If the friendship is true, there is should be a sense of mutual pride and respect. We should be extra careful to boost each others public image rather than getting sly behind the back. Talking and thinking positive about each other is a very important aspect. True friends build and never destroy!

Have a love or life query you cannot find an answer to?  Send your questions to –  
roopshashotm@gmail.com
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