Millennium Post

Freak My Heart

Halfway into the movie when Neil Parker (Luke Kenny) rips out a man’s heart and chomps it up, I wanted to laugh out loud. Call me twisted, but isn’t it funny that a man who had come to serve Parker lunch gets eaten up instead?

This ‘horror’ movie, which is anything but, is filled with wicked irony. Parker is a wildlife photographer. Fed up with his frequent travels to forests, hills and other places, where there is no network connectivity but great photo opportunities, his girlfriend Vinni (Kirti Kulhari) has walked out on him. To douse his sorrow, Parker takes off again to someplace in Uttarakhand. Like the other photographer Parker we all know of (Peter Parker/Spiderman), he is bitten by something dangerous and turns into a half-baked zombie, instead of a friendly, neighbourhood webslinger! And rather than hooking up with the first mountain belle he meets after break-up, Parker has her for dinner!

The rest of the movie is about Parker eating up birds, bees and assorted beasts, including few humans. There seems to be no redemption for this freak or the audience till Vinni decides to give him another chance and seek him out. And in what looks like a trailer for the sequel, Parker’s father and friend enter a zombie town armed with machetes. The scene is a bad copy from Robert Rodriguez’s Grindhouse.

So why was this movie made in the first place? Even if horror is a safe genre for Bollywood, Rise of the Zombie will hardly scare. The man-eating scenes are more gross than scary and at one point where Parker discovers his morphed self, there was a background score with a line that went ‘teri yaadein... aasun layi’. This time, not just me but the rest of the audience burst into laughter. Kirti Kulhari (she did Bejoy Nambiar’s Shaitan before) is worth a watch, and thankfully does not turn zombie. That, is the only saving grace!
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