The sign of great parenting is not the child’s behaviour...The sign of truly great parenting is the parent’s behaviour
Parenting is an art and all of us would like to be the best parents we can be for our children. Quality of parental engagement in a child's life virtually makes up for his/her outlook on life and a good parent is one who makes decisions in best interest of child. However, in a rapidly changing world where times have changed so drastically parenthood should also be no exception to transformation. So here are a few takeaways that can enable your flower like child to blossom.
No one is perfect
Being mindful of the fact that no one is perfect – neither the parent nor the child – will help both in fine tuning their great expectations as the times roll on. But that doesn't mean we shall not work towards that goal. Since children are very potent observers and learn most from their parents, they should become the person they want their child to be. Even some studies suggest that children who hit usually have a role model for aggression at home.
So, if we want our child to exhibit traits like friendliness, kindness, compassion, respect, honesty then all these soulful things must arise in our beings in the first place. Interestingly, apart from modelling a role for children, one should perhaps also inculcate a subtle sense in them to neither look up to anyone nor look down on anyone as it can transform a child and allow him/her to find his own rhythm in life.
Discipline pervades every household no doubt. Now, as parents we would also want to regulate our children's behaviour or say assist them in their own regulation of it. But when it is about discipline, being positive about it has always seemed hard. However, incorporating innovative measures like creating a situation where a child has to earn privileges such as TV time only by good attitude or after completing homework rather than lose them as a penalty can help practice positive discipline. Physical discipline like spanking which relatively creates negative experiences in a child should be avoided as it can result in aggressive, unnatural behaviour which may escalate later on in life and hamper individuality. The overall disciplinary message should be that you do love the child but you don't like the behaviour. Don't love, become loving
Loving someone unconditionally is one of most profound experiences ever and children must be adorned with love as much as possible. Just as food nurtures our body, love is the nourishment for soul. Even science reveals that simple acts love like giving hugs, spending time and listening to their issues seriously, riding together through high and low tides of emotions and so on enables release of feel-good hormones such as as oxytocin, opioids and prolactin which instills a deep sense of serenity, emotional warmth, contentment in them and above all an intimate relation with you is woven. And too much loving isn't going to spoil the child as long as things like unaware leniency, over-protection, over-parenting, conditionings, material indulgence are swapped for true love and that's actually when the child is spoiled. Become a safe haven for him, support and accept child as an individual. Love is about freedom.
Being a parent comes with its own perks and hardships and in this socio-economic world there also exist other essential things which indeed play an important role in shaping the child and one of them is education. It is as crucial in shaping one's perspective towards life as earning and sustaining his/her livelihood, if nothing else. The quality of education child imbibes over time in his life is of immense importance and mustn't be overlooked by parents. Quality education exudes real learning– it gives insight into things. Undoubtedly, schools and institutions have their place in modern times but unfortunately the kind of education we are familiar with these days has down the years morphed into a 'discipline-centric' thing; seems outdated and tends to box the child's numerous potentialties hidden within which otherwise should flourish. Interdisciplinary learning and the innate experimenting can go a long way in qualitising the education and give it real meaning.