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‘Ego clashes can be nasty, destructive’

‘Ego clashes can be nasty, destructive’
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Unknowingly, I land up lying. Can you please help. I want to stop it.
Name not given
Habitual lying often begins as a means to gain attention, boost self esteem, or to increase social standing. As a result they burn numerous bridges, spend large amounts of time alone, and have a difficult time maintaining relationships and retaining a job. First and foremost, it is imperative that you find a therapist that you feel comfortable with and can be honest with. Therapy is essential to determining the causes of your behavior as well as understanding what effect your lying has on those around you. Most therapy sessions will revolve around your behavior modification and will help you recover soon. All the best!

I have a team of 20 employees. There seems to be a ego issue somewhere. How to address this and have a solution?

Shiv Mehta, New Delhi
Ego clashes are nasty, destructive diseases that can harm businesses large and small. These can include one person deliberately failing to consult a colleague when they should, or failing to include them in group activity at work or after hours. There isn’t one answer to solving the problem; solutions are dictated by the personalities involved and circumstances, but good communication is vital. Explain to the employee or employees that you need to sit down with them and talk about what has happened. You need to listen to events from their perspective. Talk as little as possible – it’s about allowing the employee to express their views. Effective, constructive confrontation will surely be beneficial.

I can’t accept my break up. I really love him for many years. Please help!

Tulsi, Madhya Pradesh
Acceptance can only happen when the subconscious mind makes sure that the event is irreversible. Most people who want to stop loving someone prevent themselves from accepting the fact that they can’t have him by doing the following:

 Visualising the good old memories
 Keeping all the things that reminds them of him (text messages, e-mails.. etc)
 Never confront the person directly and so keep the door open for hope

All of these practices keep hope present and as a result prevent acceptance from happening. If you want to stop loving that person you should first accept what happened by confronting him and making sure that he has no intentions to resume the relationship. The second thing you should do is deleting the mails, the text messages and removing everything that reminds you of him. Preventing yourself from thinking about him is another very important task, I know that sometimes thoughts flow involuntary, but at least you can prevent these involuntary thoughts from growing bigger.

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