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Leave it by the River!

Leave it by the River!

There is ample research to show that people are generally better able to remember unfinished jobs than completed ones. If something is incomplete, it may keep popping in our memory even when we are far away from it, leading to constant rumination even though we may not be in a position to do anything about it. Such thoughts travel back and forth and that is why we keep thinking about that page-turner. However, it's not necessary that this exists in our sphere of work alone. It can be in the case of life and memories too. Sometimes, it is difficult to put behind things and just move on with our lives. There are times when memory acts like a ball and chain and holds us back — because we relive it over and over again. The main issue is that it is unfinished and incomplete. From emotions to practical assignments, from home to our workplaces — there are a lot of backlogs. And with this, there is a constant resurgence of such thoughts on an auto-pilot mode that keeps playing on our minds over and over and again. In fact, reliving a memory actually strengthens it and the more we relive those unpleasant events, the stronger we make the memory. Thus, it is important to let go. Unfinished businesses can be endless. And nobody gets it right all the time. Therefore, it is important to leave the past in the past and stop dragging it with us wherever we are heading to. Our proverbial 'backpacks' seem to be continuously loading up and we keep stuffing them full until one day, whatever is inside it starts spilling out all over the place. It is then that we need to 'leave it by the River' and walk away.

Responding to experiences emotionally and carrying the perceived notion of the consequences with us into new experiences is not an ideal thing to do. It can hamper us in many more ways that we can think of including being stuck in old habits and exercises which can interfere with realising professional ambitions, healthy relationships, personal happiness and enjoyment of life. Unexpressed feelings of being hurt do hang around. We don't change until staying the same becomes too uncomfortable. And it is this process that cannot be hasty. Every experience shapes us and helps us grow, no matter how small it is. As Paulo Coelho beautifully puts it: "My heart might be bruised but it will recover and become capable of seeing the beauty of life once more. It's happened before, it will happen again, I'm sure. When someone leaves, it's because someone else is about to arrive…"

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