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Dealing with parental pressure

Dealing with parental pressure
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I am in 11th standard and want to be a musician. My parents refuse to understand my dreams! I don’t want to study after 12th. How to convince them?
Ujjal, Kolkata

Convincing parents to quit studying might actually be a war. If I was you, I would have held onto my dreams and at the same time completed my basic graduation/college. You surely can choose music or something similar as a course too! In that case, you can have best of both the worlds! Education or degrees are never a waste. Good luck.

We had a love marriage in October last year but we are not happy. Everyday there is a fight and he is a completely different guy! What should I do? I’m shattered.
Name unknown.

Marriage and mirage sometimes go hand in hand. But, I would request you to hold on to your relation and try your best to make it better. A quiet vacation might act as a catalyst and you surely can get closer and sort matters. A constructive confrontation with loads of cuddles, love can help warm up the situation for better. This looks like an initial rough patch which will be green soon. Be patient and explore each other. The best awaits for sure.

I want to balance work and home. Can you suggest some tips.
Dipika, New Delhi 
  • Understand the importance of drawing a line between work and home.
  • Make sure that you don’t use the master bedroom for office work. The master bedroom should be off limits to computers and televisions, if possible!
  • When you first arrive home from work, give your spouse a big hug and kiss. Then spend some time talking together about how the day went. Don’t do anything else till you do this.
  • Don’t use your work schedule as an excuse to opt out on doing your share of the household chores.
  • Try to do one thing at a time.
  • Turn off your landline phone, cell phone, and other electronic devices that could interrupt you from spending time with your spouse and children.

How to find the right partner? How do I know?
John Thomas, Karnataka

You will know you are marrying the right person when you feel support and encouragement about your own growth both emotionally and intellectually. The right person will want you to be emotionally healthy and able to stand on your own feet. When you are with the right person you will feel good about yourself, safe and fulfilled. 

The right person is someone who is your friend. Your love and your marriage will slowly fade if the two of you are not friends. The right person will trust you and not spy on you. Feeling as if you have to justify your every move will become a very heavy burden. May you find the ‘right’ person soon.

Send your questions  to - roopshashotm@gmail.com
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