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‘Cover negative feelings with positive ones’

‘Cover negative feelings with positive ones’
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I feel anger and bitter at times. I feel down and negative. Is this really abnormal? Please help!
Raghav, New Delhi
You may think you need to cover ‘negative feelings’ with positive ones. You don’t. You’re entitled to feel whatever you need to feel. We all are. Often when I’m angry I feel the need to act on it, but later I generally wish I’d waited. Decide that you’re not going to do anything until the feeling has less of a grip on you. In the end, we’re the only ones responsible for our mental state, so this is a great opportunity to practice regulating yours. Once we are able to have a control on our own self, we shall evolve as a better person.

My mother still treats me like a little boy! She pampers me in public and embarrasses me in front of my friends and relatives! I’m 19 and feel horrible!!!!

Akaash, Ghaziabad

Make her sit down and explain her what irritates you. If need be, route it through your father or any other elder member of your family. Sometimes parents always think that we are children and act accordingly. It is her love that she showers on you. Don’t be rude but act maturely to handle this. You are atleast lucky to have loving parents. There are many who are deprived of this. So, handle her with love and I’m sure she will understand your point of view.

I get jealous a lot and that’s the issue that I have been going through, I get jealous when I find out that he has been going out to lunch with his female workers (one on one). He doesn’t tell me about this because he thinks that it is not important. Please advise.
Saara, Bangalore
Love does lead to possessiveness which leads to jealousy and distress. I do understand that his ‘not saying’ to you could be the reason for the cloud in your mind. I suggest, have a very clear talk and tell him that transparency of facts will make you feel better. As a boyfriend, I’m sure he will respect your thought and will help you too. At the same time, I sincerely suggest you to let loose of this virtual grip.  Build faith and that is the only key to a successful relationship. Don’t over react and get hyper. Be cool and things will be fine!
 
My daughter has developed the ugly habit of smoking. I’m very upset. What can I do to help her come out of it?

Mrs Sinha, New Delhi
You can directly tell her how you feel towards her habit. Make her conscious about your feelings. We all know the dark truth about smoking but quitting cigarette is one’s own decision. This could be just a phase but you as a parent should insist so that she quits soon. Be firm but not nagging. Emotional blackmails work wonders on kids.

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