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Coping with Relationship Anxiety

Coping with Relationship  Anxiety
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I love someone who is a compulsive flirt, many 'close friends' as he says. I still can't get over this and hope he will loves me someday. Name unknown, Haryana

It's a gamble you are playing. Don't be hopeful that the music will play and a prince riding the white horse will come your way! He seems like a player, the one who keeps an excel sheet to maintain database of his 'close friends’. Suggest, you carry on your life and don't expect much from this man. He looks like the sort who doesn't know what he wants from his love life. Keep your love for the one who will value you and won't treat you like an option. Let go of the man and concentrate on building your life in a better way. The best awaits for the one who waits.

I am 38. My wife has left me 2 years back. I am very scared to get into a new relationship. Please tell me how to come out from this terrible situation.Name unknown

You will have to honestly evaluate the reason for which your wife left you. Then only can you get your mind to be stable. Blaming the women of the universe for a single person is really not justified! Now you will have to help yourself by deciding what you want in your future partner. Your previous experience itself will help you a lot. It may be a good idea to visit a counselor and discuss the whole thing with him or her. That would help you in rescuing from the unnecessary burden of betrayal and guilt in your head.

My son is 27. I think he's gay. He's avoiding marriage nor do I ever see him with any girl. How do I find the truth? Name unknown

Attraction for same sex is there from the days of Mahabharat. First of all, please do not treat him as a paitent or some sort of criminal. I have friends from all the walks of life, some of them are gay. So what? They are super successful and decently happy in life. Talk to him. Confront and take it easy. It could also be that he's focussing on career and hence neglecting marriage. Don't just get him tagged with a girl or jump to conclusions in a hurry. Observe and have a constructive confrontation with your son. 

I'm divorced. My ex husband was impotent. He would beat me up. I have developed a fear towards relationships. How can I come out of it? Jasmine, Kolkata

I understand how traumatising this is. The dark shadows of our past do linger for a long time. Yet, as life moves forward we have to let go of yesterday and believe in a bright, happy tomorrow. 

As the ten fingers of the hand are all different, so are we! Don't assume that men in general would be like your ex. I'm sure you see a lot of great couples around and you have to have faith on relationships. There has to someone who will love and take care of you. Yes, to find 'Mr. Right' is a challenge we all face but please come out of your closet and start a new journey. Good Luck!

(Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com)
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