Millennium Post

Be in control of your expectations

Be in control of your expectations
What according to you makes a good relationship?
Saana, New Delhi

Relationships aren’t just about love, passion, romance, or sex. And showing love to someone isn’t just saying “I love you”. If you really love someone, you show them respect, which means:
Understanding that the other person doesn’t always have to do what you want Accepting that they have a right to their own friends, their own opinions, and to make their own decisions and Listening to the other person, caring about their opinions, supporting their independence and treating them as an equal.

At work I have fallen in love with a married colleague. Last three years he is claiming that he will soon divorce his wife to settle down with me. I’m very much in love and don’t want any heartbreaks.  What should I do?
T.D,  New Delhi
Don’t let your life be controlled by so many external factors. You two can marry only when he’s out of his present marriage. I don’t know how serious is he about coming out of that! Be careful about your life and be responsible towards yourself dear. Don’t get too serious until he comes out clean. This kind of dealing is always much easier said than done! Be in love but be in control of your expectations. Don’t land up hurting with a wound that might take long to heal.

My spoken English is very weak and I feel very inferior when I go to clubs or discos! What can I do to overcome this?

Tejas, Ludhiana
The only way to overcome it is to face it strongly. Get admitted in a spoken English class and practice speaking it whenever you have the opportunity. Read English newspapers and magazines aloud in front of the mirror atleast for half hour everyday. Watch English news channel as often as you can. Even if you make mistakes, don’t stop trying. Its just practice and confidence that will make you learn anything. Be patient and give time. Mistakes will dampen your spirit but don’t let your confidence get defeated at any cost. Good luck!

I love someone who is a compulsive flirt. He has relations with many. Many ‘close friends’ as he says. I still can’t get over this and hope he will love me someday, realize my emotions.

Jhelum, New Delhi
It’s a gamble you are playing. Don’t be hopeful that the music will play and the prince will ride the white horse your way! He seems like a player, the one who keeps an excel sheet to maintain database of his ‘really close friends’! Suggest, you carry on your life and don’t expect much of this man.

He looks like the sort who doesn’t know what he wants from his own love life! It’s good to hope, but sometimes that indeed is a hopeless exercise.

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