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Axe the ex for conjugal bliss

Axe the ex for conjugal bliss
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My daughter is 25 and runs her own business. She is not willing to get married. Help
Roma Kapoor, Ludhiana

If she’s not willing, please don’t force her. In today’s day and age, women are no less than men. She must be avoiding your request because she has her own plans related to her career or even her love life. Let her mentally prepare herself in order to get into a wedlock.
Her age is not a factor and she ideally should marry when she knows she is completely ready.
Pressure is the last catalyst for a decision as important and sensitive as marriage! So do not force her.

People call me fat. I am overweight by almost 12 kgs. I try to lose weight but somehow continue to be fat. I have no problems but constant taunts demoralise me!
Neha, New Delhi

Neha, I completely understand this. For some reason, these days society treats being ‘fat’ as a kind of taboo. My suggestion is, as long your health is not getting affected, take it slow. Yes, being in shape is medically, physically, emotionally very satisfying but don’t do anything drastic to reduce your weight. Consult a good dietitian and get your daily food intake corrected. Go for walks, join a gym with a friend and do what you think makes YOU happy. Being fat isn’t being unhappy and you shouldn’t bother when words hit you. Just tell them off by saying - I’m fat but fit, are you?

I was physically molested by my uncle when I was 9 or 10 years old. I still can’t come out of that shock. I’m 21 now and am cold towards men. How do I cope with this trauma?
Name withheld

I’m really sorry to hear this. Please don’t worry. If you talk to other women around you, you will find out a horrible reality. Most of us go through some kind of molestation or abuse as children but we don’t protest. Or rather we don’t even realize that this requires severe attention and punishment for the culprit. The scars remain...
I sincerely request you to let go. It’s not easy, I know. If need be, change the city and leave the wound behind. Try to mix with men and take time to know them. Once comfortable, once in love, this will fade and you will be able to make a fresh beginning.

I enjoy sex with my wife but I keep remembering my ex-girlfriend each time we get intimate! How do I come out of this?
Prakash Rane, Mumbai

You never know, she might be fantasising about someone else while you are close to her! This hurts, right?? So dear Prakash, don’t do anything that you don’t want for yourself. If she’s giving her mind and body to the man she loves,
you ideally should be hers. Try to watch some hot movies while making love. Divert your mind and just axe
the ‘ex’, love your spouse completely. Guilt is a bad trip, avoid it!

Have a love or life query you cannot find an answer to? Send your questions to - roopshashotm@gmail.com
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