Talking Shop: Exchanging words

“Silence is the only (real)

language of God, all else

is (just) poor translation.”

—Jalaluddin Rumi

If what Rumi harangues in his quote were true, we now live in a world that is forbidden for its very decibel, defying through cacophony the piety of the soft, supple and (un)spoken, one that the Almighty created lovingly for our indulgence and to draw us closer. In a torrid turn, we have created a loud and ear-splitting caricature of cultures and philological semantics, each bellowing belly-gulching provocations, diktats and curses. With each passing day, these words are turning us into less-than-human reciprocals, our frequent verbal gymnastics distancing us from the sacred postulate of any language—that of better understanding one-another and living in harmony.

Since I have sounded off the opening in English, let’s continue in that language on how life can be tough for those not very familiar with its intricacies, often leaving us wondering at the end of the day whether we had been polite and ‘propah’, or if have just pandered to the sacrosanct art of swearing. That’s because in English, as in any other language, expression is a coin with two sides, both of which can be dangerous and relationship-threatening, if not used wisely. Unwise usage may see people speak in well-known terms and yet create a rift; worse, expending less-understood verbiage in the language can all but spark off wars.

Enough of this seriousness, because unintended amorousness and shenanigans with languages can also trigger well-earned giggles and guffaws, which we may be forced to snuff out, depending on the objet d’ art and our immediate surrounders (sic). This happened last week, when an enthusiastic TV commentator, seeing two heads of state hug at a momentous event, exclaimed: “They are looking at each other. They are now smiling. They are EXCHANGING WORDS.” The linguistic gibberish sent me into peals of laughter because, typically, ‘exchanging words’ means giving someone a piece of your mind in less than appreciative terms, as in ‘swearing at or cursing someone’. I am sure our heads of state were not looking into each other’s eyes and going “b*@!%&^”! Indeed.

Having another soul

Someone once write beautifully that knowing another language is like having another soul, and being receptive to new-found learning with all its intricacies and idiosyncrasies. But it doesn’t always work out in a textbook manner, as I discovered recently when a friend ranted and raved about a particularly chaotic nation: “The tail is wagging the dog there,” he thundered as he downed another. From the next table came the excited query of a desi whom I have loved for decades: “Poonchh ne poora kutta hila diya (the tail shook the entire dog)?” “Ji huzoor (Yes, Sir),” I wanted to say. I would have loved to add that the poor, traumatised dog is still hyperventilating, trying in vain to nail the errant appendage.

Language(s) misunderstandings can have serious ramifications too. At a recent rally, there was untold consternation when one leader predicted the future of our nation’s daughters. Not too well-versed with the language, his proclamation, translated into simple English, meant: “Let’s parade them (girls) around and show them a good time!” Indeed. Language can at times be inexplicable to the uninitiated, especially when a term of endearment can be construed as the gravest of abuses—everyday examples are when men and women speak to friends informally, with swear-words denoting their true fondness. Indeed.

Having berated English, it is time to celebrate our very own Hindi. Not only are rare or cuss words now commonplace (like lohpath gaamini and saala, thanks to actor Dharmendra in Chupke Chupke movie), expletives have also become so hackneyed that leave alone North India, even people in the southern, eastern and western extremities of our vast nation have picked them up seamlessly and utter them most buoyantly and with true feeling. Teri toh… Indeed.

Not just mere language(s)

If I quote from any good dictionary, “speaking, writing and reading are integral to everyday life, where language is a key tool for expression and communication”. Go a step further and you can also study in-depth how people use language to better understand others and why they behave in the manner and way they do.

However, the most gargantuan of faux pas can be achieved without language holding center-stage, as happened during the 2012 London Olympics. A day after the North Korean flag was mistakenly displayed before a soccer match as that of South Korea, unintended insult was heaped on another contingent due to incomprehensible welcome signs in a garbled attempt at diplomacy. “It beggars belief (that) they cannot even write ‘Welcome’ in Arabic. What will our guests be thinking? It is cringe-worthy,” lamented a British commentator.

There are other non-language bloopers, as happened when Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe dined with Israeli leader Benjamin Netanyahu and was served dessert in a shoe, sacred in Israel but a strict no-no for the Japanese. Japan witnessed another gaffe in 1992, when US President George HW Bush vomited on Prime Minister Kiichi Miyazawa’s lap at a diplomatic banquet. The Bush team said the President was suffering from intestinal flu, but the media had a field day, coining the phrase bushu-suru, meaning “to do a Bush”. While on world leaders, here’s one on Britain’s Prince Philip during his meeting with Aboriginals in Australia in 2002. The Duke of Edinburgh asked the natives: “Do you still throw spears at each other?” There’s more to mulch than language. Indeed.

Which is the sweetest?

It is impossible to name any one language as the syrupiest, but I will do so because most name our very own Bengali as the ‘Sweetest Language in the World’. This is based on its vocabulary, simplicity and tonality. India is a melting pot of music, fine arts, literature and cinema, but it is the Bengalis who have been praised for a creation as sweet as the rosogulla. One list even says ‘I love you’ in Bengali is “poetic, like sweet honey dripping from the tongue”—Ami tomake bhalobashi.

Italian comes second, with the language, vocabulary and style being shaped by poets and writers over centuries. The key consideration for Italian was its sound and beauty, especially the dialects spoken in Lombardo, Siciliano, Napoletano, Romanesco and Piedmontese. Persian, an Iranian language, is third on the list—it is spoken in Turkmenistan, Turkey, India, Azerbaijan, Yemen, Armenia, Kazakhstan and Iraq, described as one of the most beautiful languages in the world, “extremely soft and poetic”.

Others in the ‘Top Ten’ list are Saraiki (spoken in the South-Western province of Punjab in Pakistan); Arabic (a fascinating language that is one of the oldest and has influenced many others); Urdu (spoken by over 200 million people in the world); Afrikaans (spoken by 6 million people); Spanish (amongst the most widely spoken and an inspiration for Latin); Portuguese (spoken in Portugal, Brazil, Principe, Equatorial Guinea, Mozambique and Angola); and Finnish (estimated to have around 5.4 million speakers and a lilting melody).

At the end of the column, I will revisit with you what Geoffrey Willans said: “You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.” Sure, blunders, mishaps and faux pas will certainly happen when we speak, but the important thing is to save face in such situations and maintain decorum. In life, as in diplomacy, it is good to know protocols, hold your tongue and, in the Indian context, keep one’s hands to oneself. Amen.

The writer is a veteran journalist and communications specialist. He can be reached on narayanrajeev2006@gmail.com. Views expressed are personal