Wait till cupid strikes
9 March 2015 4:02 AM IST
I want to get married this year but I’m not interested in an arranged marriage nor I am in love! I’m a 30+ independent woman. Please guide.
Aarti, Agra
There are so many plans that we make in life but life has its own plans! I understand your desire, but if you truly want love to happen before marriage then I’m really not sure about its fulfillment. Falling and being in the perfect colours of love is a faith we all hold onto. Yet, ‘when’ and ‘whether’ love will strike, if at all it does, remains a mystery. Aarti, would sincerely request you to chill and take life as it comes. Do not restrict yourself from meeting or experimenting with the idea of an ‘arranged’ settlement. Nothing is perfect or absolute right. We have to mend, amend and try to seek happiness from a lot of imperfections. Keep your heart open and if you are very sure about ‘love before marriage’, take good amount of time before plunging into any decision. It is surely worth the wait.
My husband is very busy. He is out of the country for almost 20 days in a month. We have no children and he seems to be too busy to plan one. It’s been five years of our marriage and I’m very depressed with my present situation!
Mrs. R. Joshi, New Delhi
This really looks a bit selfish. Men running the race probably develop certain traits that make situations difficult for people around them. May be you can start travelling with him, if you can. Spend more time to revive the romance, be communicative and express whatever you feel is desired. If there is a member of the family or friend circle whom he trusts, that person can also help put the message across. Don’t lose heart. All good things take a bit longer perhaps. I’m sure you will overcome this and be a happier individual in near future. Just be a great lover to your husband and life will be better.
My girlfriend has suddenly started hiding things from me. According to her, I need not interfere! This sudden negligence is hurting me a lot. How to handle this?
Rajen, Haryana
Maybe you can try and do the same. Portray as if you have secrets to keep and things to hide from her. Arouse her curiosity, let her be in your shoes to probably understand your present state. If you feel, she is cold, not responsive, then maybe, you should consider the status of your relationship. Transparency, honesty and absolute faith are ingredients that make a relationship. Sometimes just let go to get it all. Else leave it to live happy.
I am 26 years old housewife. My husband is a Director in a reputed company. Problem is that he never takes me on his official trips or parties. He just doesn’t like my mixing with his colleagues and friends. I feel lonely and by the end of the day I feel like restricting myself to my kids and in-laws. What should I do?
Divya Mathur, New Delhi
Hey! Please don’t feel sorry for yourself! You are a lady of the 21st century and finding a solution isn’t impossible. It is but natural that you feel hurt because of your husband’s behaviour. I strongly suggest you to do something on your own. Learn some skill or spend time nurturing some hobby. Your problem of passing time will be solved and you will feel independent too. This will also expand your world and you will meet more and more people, make new friends. When you have your own group and your husband will also not have any problem.
He doesn’t have to choose your friends and colleagues. Spend your life your way and don’t feel neglected or hurt.
Send your questions to [email protected]
Aarti, Agra
There are so many plans that we make in life but life has its own plans! I understand your desire, but if you truly want love to happen before marriage then I’m really not sure about its fulfillment. Falling and being in the perfect colours of love is a faith we all hold onto. Yet, ‘when’ and ‘whether’ love will strike, if at all it does, remains a mystery. Aarti, would sincerely request you to chill and take life as it comes. Do not restrict yourself from meeting or experimenting with the idea of an ‘arranged’ settlement. Nothing is perfect or absolute right. We have to mend, amend and try to seek happiness from a lot of imperfections. Keep your heart open and if you are very sure about ‘love before marriage’, take good amount of time before plunging into any decision. It is surely worth the wait.
My husband is very busy. He is out of the country for almost 20 days in a month. We have no children and he seems to be too busy to plan one. It’s been five years of our marriage and I’m very depressed with my present situation!
Mrs. R. Joshi, New Delhi
This really looks a bit selfish. Men running the race probably develop certain traits that make situations difficult for people around them. May be you can start travelling with him, if you can. Spend more time to revive the romance, be communicative and express whatever you feel is desired. If there is a member of the family or friend circle whom he trusts, that person can also help put the message across. Don’t lose heart. All good things take a bit longer perhaps. I’m sure you will overcome this and be a happier individual in near future. Just be a great lover to your husband and life will be better.
My girlfriend has suddenly started hiding things from me. According to her, I need not interfere! This sudden negligence is hurting me a lot. How to handle this?
Rajen, Haryana
Maybe you can try and do the same. Portray as if you have secrets to keep and things to hide from her. Arouse her curiosity, let her be in your shoes to probably understand your present state. If you feel, she is cold, not responsive, then maybe, you should consider the status of your relationship. Transparency, honesty and absolute faith are ingredients that make a relationship. Sometimes just let go to get it all. Else leave it to live happy.
I am 26 years old housewife. My husband is a Director in a reputed company. Problem is that he never takes me on his official trips or parties. He just doesn’t like my mixing with his colleagues and friends. I feel lonely and by the end of the day I feel like restricting myself to my kids and in-laws. What should I do?
Divya Mathur, New Delhi
Hey! Please don’t feel sorry for yourself! You are a lady of the 21st century and finding a solution isn’t impossible. It is but natural that you feel hurt because of your husband’s behaviour. I strongly suggest you to do something on your own. Learn some skill or spend time nurturing some hobby. Your problem of passing time will be solved and you will feel independent too. This will also expand your world and you will meet more and more people, make new friends. When you have your own group and your husband will also not have any problem.
He doesn’t have to choose your friends and colleagues. Spend your life your way and don’t feel neglected or hurt.
Send your questions to [email protected]
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