The art of being happy

I lost my husband 6 years ago, I'm 45 now. I don't know whether to remarry or not. What's your view?

G Kapoor, New Delhi

Your life, your choice. If you truly feel that you want to settle down, please do. If that inch of doubt remains, wait for the one who might wipe the 'whether or not' syndrome someday. If love rules, please follow the heart. If it doesn't, just live your life the way that makes you happy. Time is the only power and you should be your boss. Don't take any decision unless you are sure about it.

My daughter is highly educated and well placed. She is determined to settle with a guy she met over a matrimony website. She thinks he is very smart while we think he is not suitable for her. He's running a small dealership. We are very worried.

Debesh Basu, West Bengal

As parents, you will always worry as you will want the best for your child. As parents, you should also trust her. She is old enough to understand her future. She will use her liberty to do what she wants. Express your concern but try to have faith in her. Try to meet the man she is dating and begin to know him as well. Don't remain over-worried about your life and lose the happy moments tucked in every day. Your life and its happiness is your first priority. Choose everything wisely. I wish her the best and hope the best for you too.

My husband sleeps immediately after we make love. This has been happening for the last few weeks. I need to talk to him too. Please guide.

Mrs M Sinha, Kolkata

Love puts him to sleep. Why don't you find any other time to talk to him? Maybe you should make a time where you can have just the cuddle and talk time. Don't try to keep him awake forcibly. Just find a better time and let him get his sleep after good loving. Happy life ahead.

I am married and my wife is a homemaker. I don't want to cheat or lie yet I think I am attracted to a colleague at work. What should I do?

Name withheld

Cheating is a form of lying. You wouldn't be very accepting of your wife having an affair, so why would you? If you're having an affair, take a good, hard look at your life and ask yourself why you're married to the person you're married to. If you love your wife but lust someone else, realize how unfair the situation is. You want the comfort of your wife, but you're not willing to be exclusive and honest with her. This is selfish behaviour. You can't have your cake and eat it, too. If you no longer love your wife, then why are you still married to her? Either of you would probably be much better off if you were given the opportunity to find someone you truly loved or someone who loved you back. Think about it.

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