Overcome your anxieties

Most often, we are anxious as a result of our own insecurities. The challenge is to embrace yourself despite the many apprehensions.

I live in a hostel. One of my seniors is homosexual and tries to make advances. I'm very scared of him but I don't know how to fight this out.
Sam, New Delhi
You have to be very careful. I suggest, you should approach the 'threat' and be straight forward in explaining what you feel. Don't be scared to face anything which appears to be a problem. If it still continues, share this with your peers in the hostel and a few of your seniors whom you can trust. Don't threaten him but be firm in letting him know that you're just not interested. If nothing works, you can consider changing your hostel as the last option. Be calm and be happy.
My brother is 12 years old and loves eating baby powder. How to stop?
Megha, Kolkata
This is a serious problem. Most baby powder contains gypsum, which has trace amounts of asbestos and is surely not the best mineral to be eaten. This would be carcinogenic over a long period of time and, in the short run, could cause intestinal blockage, which is a medical emergency and also very painful. The best thing you can do is to substitute corn starch or some other harmless starch for the baby powder. And, in my own personal opinion, you should talk to a doctor about this. Just because nothing has happened to him yet (that you both know of) – doesn't mean its a good idea to keep doing it. Do share some data on the subject with him that might evoke fear. Best wishes.
We had a love marriage last year but we are not happy. Everyday there is a fight and he is a completely different guy. What should I do? I'm shattered.
Name unknown
Marriage and mirage sometimes go hand-in-hand. But, I would request you to hold on to your relationship and try your best to make it better. A quiet vacation might act as a catalyst and you surely can get closer and sort matters. A constructive confrontation with loads of cuddles, love can help warm up the situation for the better. This looks like an initial rough patch which will be green soon. Don't let go of your patience and dreams easily. Wish you good luck.
My husband is very attractive and popular with all the women. I feel jealous. We are married for over two years and I still don't know how to cope with this. Though he has never given me any reason to be suspicious, yet, I go mad. Please help!
Name undisclosed, New Delhi
Unfortunately, for all intimate relationships, the opportunity for envy is everywhere, and it would be hard to think of anything more destructive than to constantly worry about our loved ones. Think of Othello, Shakespeare's prototypical jealous lover.
He let suggestion and innuendo destroy a blameless Desdemona and lost the love of his life in the process. Since you state that your husband has given you no actual reason to be concerned, why drive him away with your doubts? I can only conclude that it is your own insecurity which causes your misery. The answer to your feeling lies within your own beliefs about how lovable, how important, and how interesting you are.
The self-doubt you project onto your husband through your jealousy reflects your own flagging self-esteem more than your husband's behavior. I suggest you examine your level of self-worth at the present time. Do what it takes to build yourself back up to the confidence level you had when the two of you fell in love. Relax and be proud that you have such a desirable partner. Good luck.
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