BEING AT PEACE

My son is three years old and is very obedient but whenever he is facing an interview, he is too shy and quiet. I fear he will not get through any big school. Please help.

Mrs. D. Roy, Kolkata

First, relax. If you feel that your child doesn't respond to strangers, try and take him to places where he would meet new people every day. Provide him with platforms where he can communicate and interact freely. His fear is temporary and will surely go with time. You have to be very lovable and support him to overcome this trouble. Many children face this and parents need to understand the mind of the little one. Whether or not he gets admitted to a school of your choice is secondary. Let him bloom in to a confident and happy soul.

I am 30 years old, married for five months. Few days ago, I came to know that my wife has had few physical relationships before we got married. I have forgiven her but one of my friends' wives told me that my wife hangs around a lot with her male colleagues. I love my wife and don't want to lose her. Please help.

Name withheld

Do not judge your wife by what has occurred in her past. In the present, you have no reason to suspect that she is being unfaithful to you. By listening to others and making your judgment, you are being very unfair to your wife. Try to protect your relationship. If you still have any doubts about your wife, then please discuss with her and settle the doubt now. It is not about being broad-minded; it is about trusting your partner and giving her the freedom to live happily. Don't worry so much that you lose your peace of mind. Nurture the formative years for a better future. Best wishes.

I'm 25 and my parents insist on an arranged marriage next year. I'm just not sure about this 'arranged marriage'. Can you suggest how to be sure?

Jinia Basu, Assansol

I don't think you should enter an arranged marriage to keep your parents happy. It's your life, not theirs. Whatever you decide to do, be guilt free. Know that asserting some independence does not make you a bad person and you shouldn't let them make you feel otherwise, even if it means avoiding them. But you need to ask yourself one most important question – are you sure you're ready for marriage? You shouldn't get married to escape a situation because that rarely ends with a happily ever after.

I love someone who is a compulsive flirt. He has relations with many 'close friends' as he says. I still can't get over this and hope he will love me someday while realising my emotions.

Name withheld

Don't be hopeful that music will play and the prince will ride the white horse your way. He seems like a player, the one who keeps an excel sheet to maintain a database of his 'really close friends'! Suggest you carry on your life and don't expect much of this man. He looks like the sort who doesn't know what he wants from his own love life! It's good to hope, but sometimes that indeed is a hopeless exercise. It's a gamble you are playing. Don't hurt yourself, dear.

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