Plight of being fired

Dear doc,

I was fired from a top company this year. I had been serving them for nearly a decade or so. I called the place my home, my own, and had my identity tied to my work. While the work hours were gruelling and impacted my physical, mental, and social health, nevertheless, I enjoyed it. Now that I have been let go, it has impacted me to the extent that even though I can get another job easily, I still seem to be second-guessing myself. Is this normal? How can I break this mindset?

We live in a world where our identities are tied to two things: our names and our livelihoods. When you meet someone for the first time, invariably your name is asked, followed by, what do you do? Losing the latter can lead to grief, a natural response to loss, especially when you’ve lost a job you love or dedicated your life to.

Job loss grief

When someone loses a loved one, they go through the steps of grief. The same is true in the case of the loss of a job. Denial, shock, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance

“Post-termination grief” or “job loss depression” is a natural emotional response to the loss of employment. The intensity and duration of these feelings may vary from person to person.

The common emotional reactions in the aftermath of being fired are noticed immediately, or up to a few months later. These can be:

* Emotional distress: sadness, anger, guilt, fear, and relief;

* Depression, stress, and anxiety due to financial uncertainty;

* Loss of confidence and self-esteem;

* Identity crisis: Many of us tie our entire existence to our work and jobs;

* Social Isolation: An individual may lose the social connections they had at work, leading to loneliness.

How can you gain back your confidence?

Focusing on oneself:

* Do not personalise it: Hiring and firing are part of the process of running businesses. You too may have been hired in place of someone else who had been fired. When a person personalises the firing too much, it affects their self-worth and self-esteem;

* Practise self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and avoid self-blame. Remind yourself that being fired doesn’t define your worth or abilities;

* Take a break from social media: It’s best not to fall prey to comparison when all you see on social media is other people’s projected success;

* Prioritise your physical health: Maintain a regular exercise routine, eat nutritious meals, and get enough sleep to support your overall well-being;

* Practise relaxation techniques: Engage in activities such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga to reduce stress and promote mental clarity;

* Hobbies: Take out time for hobbies and activities that you may not have had time for, or develop new ones to help you grow as a person in all directions;

* Maintain a daily routine: Create structure in your day by setting goals, organising tasks, and allocating time for self-care activities, job search, and personal development;

* Growth mindset: View being fired as an opportunity for growth and learning. Embrace challenges, seek feedback, and use setbacks as stepping stones to future success.

Exploring new opportunities:

* Polish that CV: When people settle into a job, they stop updating their skills and curriculum vitae. Re-do it as per the needs of the market;

* Feedback: Ask your old mates, ex-colleagues, and boss for feedback on your skills, personality, and more. This can help you grow;

* Technology to the rescue: Update your resume and LinkedIn profile and ensure to highlight your skills and accomplishments, making it easier for potential employers to see your value;

* Don’t shy away from networking: Connect with other professionals in your industry through networking events or online platforms;

* Consider upskilling or education: Learning is a lifelong process. Acquiring new skills or additional education can enhance your job prospects;

* Explore freelancing, consulting, or owning your own business: Many people have the spark to be entrepreneurs, but the safety of a steady job may have stopped them. Consider freelancing as a consultant in your field to gain experience, build a portfolio, and generate income;

* Stay open to different paths: Be flexible and open-minded when exploring new opportunities.

When should you seek professional help?

While it’s normal to go through a wide range of emotions, one should consider professional help if they experience:

* Persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness for a long period of time;

* Difficulty coping with daily life;

* Social withdrawal and isolation;

* Intense anxiety or panic attacks;

* Thoughts of self-harm or suicide.

It is crucial to seek immediate professional help. You can contact a mental health helpline or reach out to a therapist, psychiatrist, or counsellor closest to you.

Movie time

‘The Company Men’ (2010): The movie delves into the emotional and psychological toll of job loss on several corporate executives who face layoffs during a recession.

Send your questions to help@dreradutta.com