On transformative trail

Stepping into fatherhood has been an eye-opening experience, where sleepless nights have become the norm and an unfamiliar feeling of placing someone else’s needs above my own has taken over. The official age for becoming an adult is 18 years but, I believe, you truly experience adulthood when you become a father. I recently became a father, and I cannot forget the moment when I held my child in my hands in the operation theater. My wife and I shared a long glance with tears inkling to get out. It was a profound realization of the immense responsibility that lay before us.

Prior to embracing parenthood, my wife and I often pondered how we would handle the challenges of raising a child. We witnessed the struggles our friends and relatives faced while managing their own children, and we knew it wouldn’t be easy. Indeed, the journey has been demanding and filled with uncertainty, but something remarkable happened—we discovered an unexpected source of energy and patience within ourselves. As parents, we instinctively devoted ourselves to our child’s needs, effortlessly giving our all without a second thought.

Reflecting on my own upbringing, my earliest memories with my father revolve around playing cricket on the verandah of our home. I fondly recall his guidance in teaching me addition and subtraction, and eventually riding a bicycle while he was standing behind me. He has been a strict father, yet always selfless, providing me with the best upbringing he could offer. As I contemplate the kind of relationship I will share with my child, I realize that the dynamics have shifted with the new generation. While a more amicable approach may be necessary, instilling respect for parents and elders still remains important.

Parenting styles evolve with each generation, but one timeless lesson I learned from my father is the importance of dedicating quality time to one’s child. In today’s fast-paced and bustling world, I am committed to granting my child ample time and undivided attention.

However, one aspect where I plan to diverge from my father’s approach is regarding life choices and career. While my own path towards engineering seemed predestined since childhood, I intend to empower my child to make their own decisions in these matters. I have also learnt through my life experiences that luck has a major role to play in determining life choices. Therefore, I don’t see merit in forcing a child in any one direction.

Though I am still navigating the early days of fatherhood, I acknowledge the challenges that lie ahead. Yet, in the midst of those challenges, I also perceive the immense rewards it brings. On this Father’s Day, I extend heartfelt wishes not only to my father and myself but also to all the fathers out there who embark on this transformative journey.

The writer is a father and an IRS officer.

Views expressed are personal