New lingo of love

Valentine’s month each year comes with celebrations. These days it’s also served with a set of new trending hashtags or keywords. With the years passing, the way love and relationships are defined has changed drastically. There is new-age love lingo that you need to stay abreast with in this month of romance to feel relevant.

Love bombing

When relationships begin, sometimes, there can be unnecessary amounts of chase. Love bombing is a manipulative tactic that involves showering someone with excessive affection, attention, and flattery. The purpose is to garner control by gaining trust in the relationship. And lo and behold, the opposite can ensue the moment the target is achieved. This tactic can be abusive and used by those who may have narcissistic traits to get one up in their relationships.

Why do people indulge in it? While it appears to be harmless, charming and exciting in the beginning, it’s replaced by emotional abuse leading to a damaging psychological impact on the victim.

What to do? With love bombing, identify the signs and set healthy boundaries to protect yourself from potential harm. Try to slow down and re-assess whether you are really into them or being persuaded to give in to the relationship?

Breadcrumbing

If you have a person who makes you feel special, leads you on, yet doesn’t commit, and the moment you are chasing them they are gone, they may be breadcrumbing you. This hot and cold act where a person sends out flirtatious messages to lure the partner without much effort is called breadcrumbing. In earlier times, it was called leading on someone without the intent to date them. The mixed signals leave you wondering whether the person’s intentions are true or not and if you confront them, they may deny interest entirely.

Why do people do it? One can indulge in it due to the intent to play with your emotions, or sometimes unknowingly and even out of confusion on their front whether they desire you or not.

What to do? Look for consistency in someone’s behaviour. It’s the hallmark of a person’s true nature.

Ghosting

Ghosting is a term used to describe the act of abruptly ending a relationship, whether it be romantic, social, or professional, by ceasing all communication with the other person without any explanation or justification.

Why does someone do it? It is a form of avoidance behaviour that someone who is non-confrontational indulges in to pull the plug on the relationship without addressing the elephant in the room. Some find breakups messy and choose to pretend like there wasn’t a relationship, to begin with. The psychological aftermath on the person who is ghosted is that they can feel hurt, confused, rejected, wondering what they did wrong and left without closure.

What to do? If you are planning to ghost someone, stop. Consider if you would like to be subjected to this disrespectful and immature way to end a relationship. Plan honest and open communication to draw a line and end the relationship if it isn’t working for you.

How much to reach out? If you have been ghosted, you may be left wondering if I should keep on seeking them out. The right answer is ‘no’. Embrace the truth and move on before they hurt you again.

Quiet quitting

Quiet quitting in relationships refers to the act of quietly bowing out of a relationship without explicitly breaking up. It entails when your partner chooses to only do the bare minimum needed to just seem to be there.

Zombieing

Imagine someone who ghosted you in the past suddenly resurfacing and coming back to life. This is called Zombieing. In this case, the zombie is the ghost who rose back from the dead and pretends that nothing happened.

What to do? Consider the chances of it repeating itself. If they are high (which they likely are), run away from the zombie.

Situationship

What is your relationship status? Before you answer it, is it possible you are currently already in a situationship? A situationship is a term used to describe a romantic or sexual relationship where there is no clarity, commitment, or definition. It’s a non-committal relationship made popular in the millennial day and age. Think of the past equivalent of friends with benefits or a couple dating yet not defining it.

Why do people do it? Some people don’t like to define relationships due to the complexity that comes with them. Others enjoy the flexibility and the option to date many people at the same time. While that may be true, it can also lead to confusion.

What to do? Communicate openly and establish clear boundaries and expectations so that you both are on the same page. It may be time for DTR.

DTR: Define the relationship

Are we dating? Are we exclusive? Is this serious? What is the next step to this?

It is hard and nerve-wracking to define a relationship but it’s imperative to many. While the definition shouldn’t be black or white, some semblance of clarity is needed by most to understand their current relationship status.

Pocketing

An age-old concept where instead of being open about your relationship and introducing them to your friends, you choose to tuck them away in a corner. Pocketing means keeping someone you are dating separate, under wraps or pocketed from the rest of your life. You may not make your other friends meet them and even hide them from your social media life. Needless to say, no one likes to be pocketed in a relationship.

Orbiting

Ever found an ex liking your social media posts, looking at your stories and behaving as if nothing happened? Do they try their best to stay updated with your life by light social media stalking? They may be orbiting you. Orbiting is the way a planet might orbit another celestial body, the latter here in context being you.

Wokefishing

This isn’t any form of fishing. Woke refers to the act of being progressive and open-minded. Woke fishing indicates the façade of being more progressive on social media to get others to believe that you are a forward-thinker. It is modelled on the idea of catfishing where people pretend to be what they are not.

Why do people do it? Everyone likes to be liked. To find common grounds, some folks can imitate other interests, while some may do it to categorically mislead you.

What to do? Be real. Be liked for your real viewpoints. Not everyone has to agree to the same things.

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