Stop smoking

I want to quit smoking. How to start the plan, I’m unable to do it? I have failed several times already!
Nirmal, New Delhi
Quitting the habit is probably a decision that you have to make. May this be the START - S = Set a quit date: Choose a date within the next 2 weeks, so you have enough time to prepare without losing your motivation to quit. If you mainly smoke at work, quit on the weekend, so you have a few days to adjust to the change.

T = Tell family, friends, and co-workers that you plan to quit: Let your friends and family in on your plan to quit smoking and tell them you need their support and encouragement to stop. Look for a quit buddy who wants to stop smoking as well. You can help each other get through the rough times.

A = Anticipate and plan for the challenges you’ll face while quitting: Most people who begin smoking again do so within the first 3 months. You can help yourself make it through by preparing ahead for common challenges, such as nicotine withdrawal and cigarette cravings.

R = Remove cigarettes and other tobacco products from your home, car, and work: Throw away all of your cigarettes (no emergency pack!), lighters, ashtrays, and matches. Wash your clothes and freshen up anything that smells like smoke.

T = Talk to your doctor about getting help to quit: Your doctor can prescribe medication to help with withdrawal and suggest other alternatives. If you can’t see a doctor, you can get many products over the counter at your local pharmacy or grocery store, including the nicotine patch and nicotine gum. Good luck!

I’m 43, I think I feel angry all the time. Everybody complains about it. Can you help?
Devesh, Agra
Anger is something which everyone experiences. It can become hard to deal with when you can’t shake your anger and you’re in a constant bad mood. If you are always angry, it’s important to try and figure out the cause, so that it doesn’t stay a problem. We’re hardly ever ‘just’ angry – it’s usually a reaction to feeling hurt, upset, disappointed, confused, afraid etc. Try and work out if any of these causes apply to your own anger - it may help to talk it through with a good friend or family member. Then you can work on strategies to solve the problem,  or cope with what is happening.

If your anger is impacting on your day to day life it could be really useful to talk to an expert, like a counsellor. They can help you process all your feelings about what’s going on. Good luck and be happy, less angry!

I had a miscarriage right after marriage. We want a child but there seems to be no luck. We are married for four years. My in-laws are reacting very strangely too. What can I do?
Name, unknown
Just concentrate on your life and think positive. Consult the doctor and follow the advice. I’m sure everything will be fine. Don’t let external matters affect your mind. Be happy, be strong and all will be good.

I am divorced. My parents are insisting on marriage but I really don’t want to mess my life again. I’m 30+. How do I tell my parents to stop worrying?
Rani, Maharashtra
Getting remarried doesn’t indicate ‘mess’. There are too many people around  who are happily settled after a bad fallout in their life. But yes! It is most important to find the partner. Someone who will understand your mind and help you overcome the agony of the past. As parents they are not incorrect by expecting your happiness but get married only when YOU think you want to. I wish you the very best and I’m sure, your Mr. Right will surely come around soon and fill your life with love.

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