Healing the autumn splits

Grey divorces are on the rise. This is a term used for divorce of older couples, generally when people are over 50 years of age. ‘Grey’ comes from grey hair. Another term used is silver splitters. Since cases are increasing, it is better to control the issue before it becomes an even more frequent regular trend, as happened in several other countries.

One constructive solution for grey divorces lies in mediation by those who are more senior in age and have vast experience in the subject, have high stature, such as senior citizen retired judges or senior citizen lawyers with mediation as expertise, apart from other senior experts. Such mediators have a rich background in law and experience of life. They would’ve handled a battery of litigations with different facts. Experience in law and life is what matters the most in handling typical situations. In fact, this would also give parties a correct understanding of their specific case. Their advice would sound more authentic to parties and may have smooth acceptance, such as advice of staying together.

Grey divorces are tumultuous and have a range of legal complications. Financial challenges include identifying and dividing savings, agreeing on alimony payments, division of assets etc. Most importantly, it is emotionally draining. Parties need to be made aware of real problems and articulate solutions more in the direction of togetherness, which calls for exhaustive experience, considering parties are also seniors. One feature of mediation by senior citizen judges and lawyers is that it gives litigants a feeling that negotiations are being carried out by those who have hands-on experience of justice delivery and legal system. The mediation is from within the system and constructive. A court-annexed mediation service is considered to be the safest one. Where dispute resolution procedures, such as in typical cases of grey divorce, involve senior people with vast experience, there would be much clarity about disputes and practical solutions. The procedure would be expeditious and harmonised, with satisfactory results. Since mediation needs patience, senior members who’ve been on the judicial side would have ample of it. Furthermore, the senior legal fraternity would’ve generally dealt with extremely contentious disputes regularly, and thus have invaluable insights into what works best for such situations.

Mediation in India has been an age-old phenomenon. It started from village panchayat. The concept of mediation received legislative recognition under the Industrial Disputes Act of 1947. Detailed procedures are prescribed for conciliation proceedings under the said statute. According to Section 9 of the Family Courts Act, 1984, the parties go through a mediation proceeding. Arbitration and Conciliation Act, 1996, too, has provision for mediation and conciliation. In 1999, the Parliament passed the CPC Amendment Act, inserting Section 89 in the Code of Civil Procedure 1908, which has been introduced with the purpose of amicable, peaceful and mutual settlement between parties. The Amendment was brought into force with effect from July 1, 2002. Recently, The Mediation Act, 2023, received the assent of the Hon’ble President on September 14, 2023, and the Act was published via notification a day later by the Ministry of Law and Justice. Thus, the legislature, legal system, corporations, and citizens, all hold mediation as the most practical middle path to resolve disputes. Therefore, it’s an apt strategy even for the silver splitters. The legal field is most closely connected to the human mind. At times, all we need is reassurance, guidance, wisdom, and knowledge of real problems, and that can be best given by someone more experienced in the field.

According to certain reports from Japan, published in 2006, the number of divorces among couples married for 20 years or more hit 42,000 in 2004, double of what was recorded in 1985. The UK, too, saw a hike in the coming years. The issue needs attention as it has become an epidemic in some countries.

Negotiation is a skill. Experienced mediators especially from the legal system have various strategies that they can deploy to keep the parties’ negotiation talks as useful and constructive as possible. Involvement of seasoned senior citizens of high stature must be considered to curb the rising trend of grey divorce, thus saving families from breaking.

The writer is a practising Advocate in Supreme Court and High Court of Delhi. Views expressed are personal