'No set rule to find the perfect equation'

My father is an alcoholic and that’s the reason why mother suffers from depression. I’m graduating next year and plan to relocate to Pune. I’m getting nervous as I’m the only child. How to cope up with this?
R Kumar, New Delhi

Alcoholism is a disease. Like any disease, it needs to be treated. Sometimes what starts as a bad habit can become a very big problem. So if you live with someone who has a drinking problem, you should take the initiative to treat him before you leave your home for good. We all have to take care of our dreams but we have a huge responsibility towards our parents too. Start taking charge of the situation now.

I’m the third girl child. My parents had wanted a boy but God has been ‘unkind’ to them. I’m in 8th standard and feel very unhappy with the way I’m sometimes treated by my family. I feel like running away to some unknown place.
Name unknown
You know what, I was born seven years after my elder sister. And apparently my mother was so upset that she cried all day and didn’t see me for 11 hours! But time changes everything. Be confident and thank God that You were born! Keep your head held high, concentrate on your grades, your future and be a good human being. Please let go of the feeling of ‘running away’.

I’m in a relationship with a man who’s undergoing divorce.  But the case is going on for last three years and the wife seems determined to hold on. They have a six-year-old child and I’m turning 31 this year. My family wants me to marry soon but I can’t marry anyone else! How to handle this?
Sarita, Lucknow
This situation is complicated indeed. If the spouse is determined to hold onto the marriage and  doesn’t want to let go, then the fight can surely be ugly and might take many years before it is concluded. The question is whether you will have the strength to fight this battle as your family might create a lot of pressures. Parents are usually never too agreeable to complications of this manner. On the other hand, if the bond between your man and you is strong enough then no storm can destroy the spirit. The decision is yours. Please spend time to analyse the positives and negatives before you take any decision. Good luck to you dear. Be strong and firm.

I have been dating a girl for last two years and we wish to settle down. I personally want to live in with her before signing on the dotted line. I really think it’s better that way, what’s your opinion?
Devesh, Nagpur
Many people believe that you should move in with your girlfriend for at least a few months before you know she’s the ‘one’. You may like her at a distance, but once you have to share a bed, groceries, mutual expenses, and most importantly ‘space’, you may see an entirely different side of each other that isn’t as compatible as you had believed! Of course, you don’t have to do this always, but it’s one way of ‘double checking’ that you can really see yourself spending the rest of your life with her. The decision lies with you both. Life is nothing but taking a chance and we all know that there’s no set rule for analysing the ‘perfect equation’ between a couple. If the love is true, there is understanding and mutual respect then the relationship will sail for a lifetime. With or without ‘living-in’. Good luck!
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