Mera baap...well, never mind!

So your father was a pretty decent Bollywood actor (Can’t say still is - have you seen Jackie Shroff in the recent films?!) and you spent a lot of money on gym membership and perhaps on dance classes as well. And there has been a barrage jokes on you on Twitter and you have taken it all in your stride - any publicity is good publicity. Excellent. And after watching the movie, here is the verdict.

  

Heropanti, directed by Sabbir Khan (known best for the disaster called Kambakkht Ishq) serves as the launch pad for Jackie Shroff’s son - Tiger Shroff and Kriti Sanon. And even before you toss the proverbial coin, throw a caution to the winds and head to the nearest hall to watch the movie - it is established that Tiger can dance, he can beat up baddies and he probably also spent a lot of money on gymnastic classes alongside his dance ones. He also can look very cute. Before you ROFL on this - everyone has a different definition of cute, he doesn’t fall into mine, and I will also gladly never watch his movie again if NO other girl finds him cute. He is fairer than most women I know and the lips are ridiculously pink, ergo, doesn’t fall into the cute/hot category for most. 

But to be fair, Heropanti (the Bollywood remake of Telugu film Parugu) is a bad movie and what salvages a teensy bit of it is Tiger Shroff (Surprise surprise!) and Prakash Raj. The guy can act, it is not his fault that he comes with a name like that and looks too pretty to be beating up baddies. And if the gods of nomenclature would be any kinder to him, then he would have not been named Babloo in the movie. But they aren’t! And well Kriti Sanon is named Dimpy - Jaats clearly have no imagination! 

Long script short - Heropanti is a new-age version of Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge and it is not going to reach cult status, unless it is for its bad one-liners. 

The moot point is that the hero must beat up a lot of people and please the father to get the girl. Stock formula. Babloo seems to be enjoying it thoroughly. 

If you are willing to overlook the discrepancies, the corny dialogues and simply decide to enjoy the action and the hard-core Bollywood tracks, then Heropanti will do you good. 

Please leave your sense of aesthetics and intellect at home. It is well established that Bollywood is mostly not the place for it. That will also save you the energy of criticising a movie on Facebook and on other social networking platforms. Let me do it. It is my job. 

And question, if my family was a firm believer in honour killings, would I be cavorting around in exceedingly low-cut ghagras? I am guessing not. But then it’s Bollywood. Oh! And even I can do a better Haryanvi accent than some of the actors. Just saying. 

All in all Heropanti is better than Kambakkht Ishq, while that is not saying a lot, it is saying that let’s not write Tiger Shroff yet. He is convincing in a lot of scenes and totally mars a few others with his cheesy grin. But let’s cut him some slack - this IS his first film and as much as I hate to admit it - he is really not that bad. Sanon, well, her - we still need to figure.