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‘Men need a place for sex. Women need a purpose’

I have just come to know that my daughter (9) gets physically molested by the car pool driver that takes her to school. We are very disturbed.
Anjali Sharma, Rajkot

Firstly, stop sending her in that vehicle. If possible, someone from the family should drop and pick her up from school for the next couple of weeks. Secondly, report the case to the car pool management and if possible accost that driver directly. Thirdly, in a very easy, simple and friendly manner speak to your daughter and explain to her how she should approach such situations in future. Kids these days are very mature but they are sensitive. Such issues should be handled with care.

I’m madly in love with my English professor. I even attend his private tuitions just to see him. I want to express myself but feel scared. Please tell me how to do it?
Reena, Kolkata

Such ‘crushes’ are common. I’m sure you are not the only one who feels this way about your professor! If I were you, I would have written a personalised letter. A handwritten one and would have probably not given my name in it. Would have sealed it in an envelope, sprayed my most favourite fragrance and handed it over to him on a suitable occasion. But as he’s your college professor, such an act could bring some amount of negative impact too. If you can hold on to your feelings, hand it over on the last day of your college. One life, do what you want but ‘play safe’ girl!

I’m a 29-year-old woman. I don’t enjoy sex at all. I have had it with two partners in my life so far. Is there any problem with me?
Name withheld, Rajasthan

They say men need a place to have sex, women need a purpose. Female sexuality is complex. At its core is a need for closeness and intimacy. Women also have physical needs. When there is an emotional or physical problem, they can have sexual problems. Lack of interest in sex can also be triggered by family problems, illness or death, financial or job worries, in-law problems, childcare responsibilities, managing a career and children, previous or current physical and/or emotional abuse, past history of sexual abuse, fatigue and depression. Sometimes for women, the inability to become physically aroused during sexual activity often involves insufficient vaginal lubrication. The biggest problem is that most men get sex education from their friends, TV and porn movies. In normal lives, sexuality is far different from how it is portrayed in porn and men fail to understand this!
Women are much more interested in romance and relationship than in casual intercourse. Psychological counselling can play an important part, as can coaching in sexual foreplay and stimulation techniques.

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