CEO speaks: Parenting with a purpose
Having spent a substantial part of my life in the United States of America, I have acquired a unique perspective regarding the difference in parenting styles across cultures and also how that translates into the career choices of children.
While both Western and Indian societies place a great deal of emphasis on education and career success, parents’ approaches in general and career counselling in particular greatly differ.
Independence and integrity are the key values that Western parents constantly reinforce and instil in their children’s minds right from early childhood. They often take a more hands-on approach to career counselling, allowing their wards to explore their interests and passions and make their own decisions regarding their future careers — no matter how unconventional they may look. This approach allows children to develop self-confidence and pursue their dreams with a lot of conviction.
In stark contrast, Indian parents tend to be more dictatorial, pushing their children towards certain career paths based on societal expectations and financial stability. They seem to be more protective, exerting more control over their children’s lives, deciding on their behalf about their education, career, and even marriage. Even the extended family plays a significant role in the entire decision-making process.
These are broad generalisations — and it is important to note that this does not apply universally across these cultures.
Priyanka Chopra’s parents, both doctors, encouraged her to pursue her passion for acting and supported her decision to participate in the Miss World competition.
Sachin Tendulkar’s father was a Marathi novelist and a professor, who encouraged his love for cricket and supported him wholeheartedly.
Jennifer Lopez’s father was a computer specialist and her mother was a kindergarten teacher. They actively encouraged her to pursue her love for dancing and singing as a career.
These examples demonstrate that the worst mistake in parenting is ignoring your child’s god-gifted talent/s to ensure conformance to narrow societal concepts of “success” — money and stability are important, but happiness and a sense of fulfilment with one’s career are much more vital.
Here are some tips for parents to effectively guide their children choose the right career paths (with a number of them from my personal experience):
Be open-minded: Be open to your child’s career aspirations, even if they may differ from your own expectations. Your support and encouragement will be invaluable as they navigate their career discovery process.
Understand your child’s interest areas & abilities: Make an effort to deeply understand your child’s interest areas. Gauge your child’s potential. While parental encouragement is essential, do not drive your child to meet expectations that are unrealistic or contrary to his/her interest/s. This can lead to unwelcome pressure and demotivation. Everyone is not required to be an engineer or a doctor. Your child’s happiness throughout life is more important than you bragging at dinner tables.
Encourage new thoughts and exploration: Encourage your child to try out different activities and experiences to help them discover their interests and passion. Encourage them to think new thoughts. If your child loves animals, take him/her to the zoo or on a safari. If music is their passion, take them to concerts. If they love painting, nothing shall encourage them more than visiting museums and exhibitions.
Be a sounding board: Listen to your child’s thoughts and ideas about their future, and offer support and guidance as needed. Help them to weigh the pros and cons of different career paths and help them make informed decisions.
Provide resources: Offer resources and information to help your child make informed decisions, such as books, articles, and websites on career choices and education.
By taking an active role in your children’s career counselling, you can help set them on the right path to success and fulfilment. Remember, your child’s career is their future, and as a parent, you have the responsibility and the opportunity to play a crucial role in shaping it. This is probably the greatest gift and legacy that you can leave your children with — so do a good job of it!
Dr Sanku Bose, Group CEO (Techno India Group)
