Tillotama Shome was made to feel like an outsider by Bollywood elites

Actor Tillotama Shome, who has delivered a string of acclaimed performances in the last couple of years, spoke about being made to feel like an outsider by Bollywood elites. She said that this made her resentful, cynical and bitter towards the industry, but ultimately, this hurt her more than anyone else, as she stopped getting work for years.

In a ‘Film Companion’ roundtable interview featuring actors who’ve delivered the year’s most memorable performances on streaming, she said that she had to change her mindset, which resulted in her doing more work in one year than she had ever done before.

Asked if she finally feels that the industry is ready to give her a shot at different roles, Tillotama said, “The industry is not one person, it’s a group of people. But I had felt outside that group for 20 years because I did the kind of films that weren’t released in India or had very limited releases. So, I had the great satisfaction of meeting many wonderful people, wonderful crew, directors and being a part of wonderful stories. But I also had to contend with the loneliness of not knowing people in Mumbai.”

“In those rare occasions where there would be a public screening and one would be invited, almost by mistake, I’d feel so out of place because no one would say hi. Our parents enforced in our upbringing that you say hello to everybody in the room, but it wasn’t a very forthcoming room. The mistake I made was that when I saw this room, I judged it and left it. When you become that judgy and cynical - you may have all your reasons - it starts eating you up from the inside. Very quickly, in those two years, not only did I repulse work, no work came my way and I was also on a high horse,” she added.