Another life lost to depression

Mumbai: Sushant Singh Rajput was probably repeatedly hinting at it, but nobody took notice of what the actor was going through mentally and emotionally. Today, a look at his social media posts seems to indicate his state of mind.

His last Instagram post has drawn attention to the actor's mindset in his final days. In a note addressed to his late mother that he posted on June 3, the actor wrote these emotional lines: "Blurred past evaporating from teardrops; Unending dreams carving an arc of smile; And a fleeting life, negotiating between the two... Maa."

Now, after the demise of the actor, several people have being wondering if the words like "fleeting life" and "blurred past evaporating from teardrops" gave away a hint of the fact that Sushant was in some sort of torment.

His mother's death in 2002 left Rajput devastated and it was in the same year that the family moved from Patna to Delhi.

Around the release of his film 'Dhoni:The Untold Story', the actor had told a leading daily in an interview, "I wish she (my mother) was alive to see me succeed in life. I am sure she would have been really happy and proud of me. And maybe I would have been a different person than what I am now. Everything that used to excite me, doesn't excite me that much now. I don't know why. No relationship, no success, absolutely nothing... If she was alive, probably it wouldn't concern her, but just because something has changed inside me, everything has become so insipid. It takes a lot out of me to force myself to get overly excited about things and probably this is the reason why I like acting so much. Because it helps me get away from myself."

The actor had even revealed seeking refuge in yoga and meditation for help. In one post, he spoke about "letting go". The actor wrote: "Receive without pride, let go without attachment. #Meditations."

In another post, he quoted Franz Kafka while talking about fighting with the world, which clearly hints that not everything was alright. "In the fight between you and the world, back the world. ~ #kafka #kafkaesque," wrote Sushant.

In fact, sections of social media had been mentioning that Sushant could have been in depression owing to a troubled professional and personal life. "He had totally sequestered himself and was on self-destructive mode. Needed help but didn't have any well-wisher in industry," tweeted @BollyInsider007 a few days ago.

Rumours have been doing the rounds lately that despite the actor scoring a few hits in recent times, many of his staff members had left him because of his behaviour. Allegations of an unruly lifestyle were also being levelled.

Soon after the report of his death, the conversation around mental health started on social media as people found it difficult to wrap their heads around the fact that a young successful actor could end his life. In fact, 'Depression', after Sushant Singh Rajput, is trending on Twitter.

On the face of it, all was okay in his life, a young talented actor with some hit movies in his kitty, but beneath the clam surface, was tumultuous mental health.

An engineering student turned actor

Rajput was among the very few actors who had successfully transitioned from television to films, making a mark for himself. Sushant was also among the most learned actors in Bollywood. He was an engineer from the Delhi College of Engineering and even got a scholarship from Stanford University. However, he left it all behind to pursue a career in Bollywood.

Sushant, who made his acting debut with Star Plus TV show 'Kis Desh Mein Hai Meraa Dil' (2008), shot to fame with Zee TV's popular soap opera 'Pavitra Rishta'. His role of Manav in the Ekta Kapoor serial earned him several awards.

He made his film debut with Abhishek Kapoor's 2013 critically acclaimed release, 'Kai Po Che',

which is based on Chetan Bhagat's bestselling book 'The Three Mistakes of My Life'.

He was later seen in films like 'Chhichhore', 'Detective Byomkesh Bakshi', 'Raabta', 'Kedarnath' and 'Shudh Desi Romance'. Sushant is best known for his titular role in Neeraj Pandey's 2016 release, 'MS Dhoni: The Untold Story'. The biopic of former Indian cricket captain Mahendra Singh Dhoni remained one of the highlights of his career. The actor was last seen in Netflix film 'Drive'.

Sushant was working in 'Dil Bechara' when shooting was stalled owing to the nationwide lockdown. Directed by Mukesh Chhabra, the film was a Hindi remake of 'The Fault in Our Stars'.

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