PDA not ok, please!

‘Pyar ke dushman’ (the enemies of love) — that’s what some in India are. There is brouhaha once again against PDA (public display of affection). These people sure are okay with public display of genitalia. Scores of men lining the sides of streets proudly brandishing their members and urinating all over or the appalling instance of a man masturbating in a Delhi metro coach last year — but god forbid, should someone show love in public spaces. Should there be a canoodling couple in sight and all moral hell breaks loose. Whether it’s Delhi metro or Namma Bengaluru, couples expressing ardour among aam janta have often unleashed the moral junta.

The very same people who slyly and illegally record these couples and then upload it on X (erstwhile Twitter) to denigrate them, willingly devour similar acts overseas or on the silver screen. Why this kolaveri towards love, I ask? I think it’s quite special to see couples in love. The passion, the obliviousness, the daring — it’s all so refreshing, innit? Love storms through life’s crappy scenarios, demanding to be seen in spite of all the ugliness that may be around. An emphatic affirmation that hey! ‘Love’ is around, no matter whatever else is going on in the world. Love is like that lotus that blooms and shocks with its beauty in the muddy waters of its origins. And yet, we want to stifle that natural feeling?

From the legal point of view, hugging and consensual kissing are not illegal, obscenity is. And yet couples are heckled by the public and the law enforcement. Removed from parks and beaches, sometimes receiving even a baton bashing or too, couples in India can’t claim public spaces as their own. Cops often use Section 294 of the Indian Penal Code (IPC), that allows the law to punish anyone who “annoys” others by “a) doing any obscene act in any public place, or b) singing, reciting or uttering any obscene song, ballad or words, in or near any public place”. So, all those roadside romeos that eve-teased girls should be arrested, but no, consenting couples become easy prey instead. A quick bribe is an easy way to get out of the actual three-month incarceration, but it’s all so unnecessary, isn’t it? Because who defines what is obscene? For me, a kiss may not be obscene but it could rankle another. A self-proclaimed conscience keeper of society may well say that holding hands goes against Indian culture!

Educational institutes around the country have often become grounds of debate on public affection. Last year, the Kozhikode NIT Campus banned PDA on its premises. Interestingly, it was also in Kerala (Kochi) that the non-violent ‘Kiss of Love’ protest against moral policing had started and spread to the rest of the country in 2014. Couple of years ago, a married couple was harassed and beaten up when the husband kissed his wife while bathing in a river in Ayodhya. Lovey dovey couples riding Delhi and Bengaluru metros have faced backlash in the virtual world. Disallowing PDA is sadly the sign of a repressed, scared, unloved society that instead of welcoming the expression of love, actively moves to kill it.

When I see couples in the throes of PDA, I can’t help but feel nostalgic of one’s own youthful days of heady endearment. For some, it’s no longer ‘new love’, therefore, the passions have waned. The intense emotion of love itself ebbs and flows, stays dormant, reignites, and meanders through its many motions. But if you’ve ever been in love, you’d not baulk or chastise couples who steal a kiss or share a hug in public. You’d be wistful, remembering past days and loves — lost and found — but you’d not be antagonistic. Those that turn into the self-appointed moral police have never truly experienced the intoxication of love. Only lovers can build and thrive within a world of their own, a tiny bubble that exists in forlorn corners of parks, perched atop the stone slabs on Marine Drive, behind bushes at Victoria Memorial grounds, in corners of metro coaches, or even in a crowded one-room chawl shared by a family of six.

But change is coming — while couples today are furtively expanding their presence in public spaces, the virtual world is witnessing a faster upheaval. Considered safer on this account — social media is replete with a number of known and unknown couples showcasing their love through intense kisses and embraces — a sign of evolving times.

The writer is an author and media entrepreneur. Views expressed are personal