‘Tell your girlfriend to try oral sex once and then decide’

Update: 2013-10-06 17:39 GMT
I’m divorced. My ex-husband was impotent. He would beat me up. I have developed a fear towards relationships. How can I come out of it?
Name withheld
I understand how traumatising this is. The dark shadows of our past do linger for a long time. Yet, as life moves forward we have to let go of yesterdays and believe in bright, happy tomorrows. As the ten fingers of the hand are all different, so are we! Don’t assume that all men in general would be like your ex-husband! I’m sure you see a lot of great couples around and you need to have faith in relationships. There is someone who will love and take care of you. Yes, finding Mr. Right is a challenge we all face but please come out of your closet and start a new journey. Good Luck!

I caught my son stealing money from my bag. This has really hurt me. How to handle this?
Sarika Malhotra, Noida
Oh! I think we all have done this atleast once in life. This is a thrill for kids. If it’s not a big amount then don’t react quite yet. Keep a watch on his spending habits and the friends he moves around with. If it happens again then sit with him and talk it out with patience. Remember, if he is a teenager it needs to be handled with a lot love and care. Don’t lose your temper and handle him well.

My mother in law is always interfering in our personal matters. She even walks into our bedroom without any intimation! My husband remains quiet but I’m irritated. How can I pass the message without being rude?
Mrs. Kapoor, New Delhi
Just lock the door from inside when you both are in the bedroom. This should ideally give her the idea that you both need ‘privacy’. In-laws in our country truly deserve an applause sometimes. They just pay no heed to the fact that their kids are now grown up and they require their own spaces. It’s difficult but I suggest you to be transparent about your feelings each time something bothers you. Seek the help of your husband in case you fail to passon  any message. All the best!

In a moment of high, I have landed up having sex with my brother-in-law. We all live together. This is making me feel very guilty and I am really embarassed! Please help!
Name Unknown
Well, this is a bit wierd! But, whats done cannot be undone. I suggest you to behave as normally as possible. Don’t let this run in your head. Try and make it seem as if you watched a movie and get over it. Guilt is a bad trip and this episode will have long term effects your marriage. Act mature and be composed. This phase surely will pass.

Whenever I have sex, my partner refuses to have oral sex! She feels giddy and pukish. I love oral acts. How to convince her to feel otherwise about it?
R.S, Madhya Pradesh
Talk to your partner. Tell her why you like it and ask her why she isn’t willing to give it a shot. Ask her what she finds so wrong and uncomfortable that she isn’t willing to do it. For all you know she maybe scared, perhaps she doesn’t know enough about oral sex. She may be scared that you are going to make her uneasy. Try arriving at an agreement that works for both of you, don’t force her. If you can get her to agree to do it once,  once you are over that first hurdle, you may be able to get lucky more often. Keep her feelings in mind. But a frank talk about it may lead to an understanding. Good luck!

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