Marriages, worldwide, are associated with social gathering and merrymaking. With time, the practices and rituals have changed; while some have perished, some have been modified to suit the modern scenario. To address this wide institution of marriages in France, Historian Arundhati Virmani has curated an exhibition "Marriages A La Francaise – Shifts in a cultural grammar" which aims to present a reflection on social transformations and values in France since the end of the 19th century.
The exhibition displays old photographs, collected from different people and family albums, legal documents of marriage contracts, wedding menus, souvenirs, historical and legal texts, video and sound recordings, objects like a traditional wedding dress or the bride's bouquet of flowers. "Most of the exhibited materials come from private collections like some are my own while some have been borrowed from museums," says Arundhati, Historian, at the School of Advanced Studies in the Social Sciences (EHESS), Marseille, France. The exhibition at the Indian International Centre is on February 28 from 11 am – 7 pm and introduces one of the major transformations of French marriages – from a predominantly Catholic Church ritual to a civil ceremony to its more recent modifications. The exhibition also has elements from same-sex marriages in the contemporary age – a newspaper cut-out of the first ever homosexual marriage in France.
The number of marriages in France has declined over the years with the rate of divorce rising. In this scenario are we witnessing the demise of marriage as the foundation of the family unit? Arundhati explains, "Statistically the number of weddings are declining in France. People are getting married later as they are focusing more on higher education. More and more people are looking for financial autonomy. First, everyone needs to have a job before they think of getting married. Women's tolerance levels are also falling, as per studies."
French weddings remain an important ceremony. Previously, the families had a say but now the couple majorly decides what they want. The wedding feast is the most important factor owing to an elaborate menu. One cannot come up with cheap material, therefore the wedding bazaar is thriving in France, with a swell in the demand for bridal dresses, wedding accessories, feasts and theme marriages.
How are French marriages different from other Western wedding ceremonies? Arundhati shares information on certain rituals and how they have evolved over the centuries. "A chamber pot used to be a pot placed in the room for men to urinate, in earlier days. Now, when we have bathrooms attached to the halls, the chamber pot has a different purpose during the wedding. After the marriage ceremony, when the couple's friends make jokes and have fun together, they use a small pot filled with champagne, wine, chocolate or onion soup to toast and serve the couple." "In the ceremony of the garter, the groom's side would bid to get the bride to raise her dress till the garter (which holds up the stockings) shows and one of them would tear the garter with his teeth, while the bride's side would bid to keep her from lifting her dress. This ritual had sort of disappeared once but now it has revived in a slightly different form. Back then, the money collected from the bidding was given to the newly married couple to set up their family. Now there is no bidding, it is majorly done for fun and the garters are very pretty and elaborate," smiles Arundhati.
There's also a 19th-century practice, in which grandmothers would decorate flower bouquets and place them in a globe-like glass jar. They were used as decorative items either in the bedroom or the drawing room of the couple.
Arundhati who is married to a French had a civil wedding in France. She said that she realized that marriage is not just a personal but a collective decision. "It is a sentimental decision but a public ritual. If someone gets married secretly there's no point of it!"
A new Lok Sabha bill which seeks to curb lavish weddings, introducing a cap on spending over Rs 5 lakhs, has been the talk of the town. In association to that Virmani says, "I think it's excellent. Marriage is an absolutely terrible institution in India. It is getting more and more vulgar. People are blindly imitating the West – all ostentation. We call on Gandhi's simplicity, while our marriages are just the opposite. With the influence of Bollywood, people want destination weddings and theme weddings, simplicity is totally forgotten. It has become a social evil the way it's performed."
Does she plan to come up with a similar exhibition on the big fat Indian wedding? Says Arundhati, "I've begun a kind of collection on Indian wedding as well, it will develop in time."