Father’s Day: Single dads challenge stereotypes with compassionate parenting

Kolkata: Debanjan Bhowmik (name changed) had always dreamed of being a father, and when his daughter was born, he embraced the role wholeheartedly. From the early days of bathing and feeding her to accompanying her to doctor’s appointments, Bhowmik made sure he was an involved parent, sharing parenting responsibilities equally with his wife. However, circumstances changed in 2019, and it has been five years since his separation from his wife.

Being a single dad is tough, and has its share of challenges but single fathers today have embraced the evolving nature of parenthood and forged deep bonds with their children. They understand that being approachable and open-minded creates an environment where their children feel comfortable sharing their thoughts, fears and aspirations.

Bhowmik recalled how, during the difficult process of separation, he involved his daughter (aged eight at the time) in the decision-making process. His daughter Roshni (name changed) chose him. Bhowmik is fully aware of the challenges of being a single day. However, he recognised that the real test lay in being a positive role model for Roshni.

“I have always given priority to my daughter. I spend my weekends with her. I believe fathers are the unsung heroes,” said Bhowmik, who shifted from Kolkata to Bangalore to get away from his past. Dumdum Cantonment-based Mainak Ghosh understands that while he faces his own set of challenges, it’s his six-year-old daughter Ritasmoyee who often encounters difficulties.

“When you decide to have a kid, you think of giving your child the best life with the love of both parents. I understand that a child growing up even in the absence of one parent isn’t healthy,” he said. Mainak has dedicated his time between working and spending moments with his daughter.

“There are a few sacrifices you have to make as a single dad. I can’t plan any weekend getaways with friends or colleagues. But as a father, I happily make sacrifices to make my daughter happy,” he said.

Behala-based Dhiman Roy’s journey began when he became the guardian of his niece, Soumo, who tragically lost both her parents three years ago. He challenges the societal misconception that men are not suitable for the role of solo parenting. Having made a conscious choice to prioritise Soumo’s well-being over his personal life, Roy decided to remain unmarried.

“I accept that there are several challenges of single parenthood, but then if you have your child by your side, the job gets easier,” said the 40-year-old businessman.

Every day presents unique challenges for single fathers like Bhowmik. One particular instance that stands out is when Bhowmik had to guide his daughter through the experience of her first period. Recognising the importance of open communication, Bhowmik took it upon himself to educate his daughter about a woman’s body.

“I also called up my female friends and made her talk to them. I taught her about good touch and bad touch. I share all my feelings with her and she does the same. My sole intention has always been to empower her and make her confident,” said the banker.