Watch porn instead
4 Aug 2012 12:00 AM GMT
Pooja Bhatt had said in an interview of sorts, when the Jism 2 hype was taking over Bollywood, that the movie was a mature love story. If heaving chests and skin-show mean maturity, I think we can head back to cartoons, or perhaps even porn.
Getting Sunny Leone in to Bollywood happened as part of a huge propaganda it seems. Since Indian society is way too uptight about accepting that they know Miss Leone and perhaps cannot accept her that easily on national television – here's what they did. They brought the adult star in as a contestant of one of the highest watched reality shows on national TV – Bigg Boss. If you recall, Leone came in dressed in Indian attire and was the perfect little good girl throughout the show. She never swore, never fought, never grimaced with others or abused and yes, created a huge ruckus when a fellow contestant picked her up in a dance and kissed her hand. Indian at heart and dying to make a place in the mindset of the prudes. And in all this wonderfully scripted life and such, in comes Mahesh Bhatt to offer her Jism 2. Fairytales do happen! Just as casting Leone as a porn star in the movie is purely coincidental and has nothing in common with any person living or dead.
Jism 2 could have been a porn flick with a story – like cherry on the cake. But instead it has such a bizarre plot that you will wish it was just porn and nothing more. And to add to it, Leone never really takes off all her clothes and there is no real sex. Frustrating, isn't it?
So here's the deal. Izna [Sunny] is a porn star and she gets hired for a secret mission by police officer Ayaan [Aronoday] after a night of what seems like 'trial-and-error' session. Izna's trial, perhaps, for Ayaan wanted to try her out to know if she could succeed. [In an aside, she has been doing it for 10 odd years, does she really need that test?] She hops right on [don't take it literally!] and no questions asked, Rupees 10 crores get transferred to her account and she's on board. Of course. It is normal for every porn star to get hired for such top secret missions. Honey trap by night, adult star by day. Oh, she also loved. Izna loved a much feared assassin Kabir [Randeep], ex-cop and the man she must get close to in this job. He disappeared one fine night leaving her in her sleep and 6 years later she has to not only get inside his bedroom but get out crucial data from his computer.
Pretending to be an engaged couple, Izna and Ayaan move in to the house opposite to Kabir's in Sri Lanka where he is moonlighting as a musician and then the seduction begins. If you can call it so – for it includes Izna throwing a stone at Kabir and the man saying sorry to her in blood. Tacky.
Izna not only manages to get Kabir back to eating out of her hands, after all he is a man, she says smugly, she gets in to his house agreeing to marry him. Collateral damage is Ayaan who seems to have fallen in love with her. But the mission is supreme. So when Ayaan kills Sumit, Kabir's right hand man, all secrets spill out.
We won't give away the semblance of a plot that Jism 2 has. But it is completely bizarre, contrived and absurd. Serious lack of research, dear director! 'I am not a terrorist, I am a patriot,' says Kabir whose war is now against the very country he defended – but unfortunately the emotions don't come across.
Leone has mastered the accent but expressions need tremendous work. She can just seduce. Period. But anger, irritation, heartache, heartbreak... let us not even start on those! She has one stoic expression throughout. She doesn't need to seduce, men want to sleep with her anyway, we wonder what the fuss was all about. The director claims that she cast Leone on instinct. We are sure it came hand in hand with tremendous capacity to exhibit believable on-screen chemistry with her co-stars. Aronoday seems very uncomfortable, he almost sleepwalks through his role. The only place he seems remotely awake is when he screams at a superior. He was much better in Yeh Saali Zindagi.
Randeep is good in his role. He has something bristling and sinister about him, a darker shade of what we saw in Cocktail. He's the only one who is believable in the whole story.
Skip the movie. Watch porn instead. Atleast that has a climax.
Getting Sunny Leone in to Bollywood happened as part of a huge propaganda it seems. Since Indian society is way too uptight about accepting that they know Miss Leone and perhaps cannot accept her that easily on national television – here's what they did. They brought the adult star in as a contestant of one of the highest watched reality shows on national TV – Bigg Boss. If you recall, Leone came in dressed in Indian attire and was the perfect little good girl throughout the show. She never swore, never fought, never grimaced with others or abused and yes, created a huge ruckus when a fellow contestant picked her up in a dance and kissed her hand. Indian at heart and dying to make a place in the mindset of the prudes. And in all this wonderfully scripted life and such, in comes Mahesh Bhatt to offer her Jism 2. Fairytales do happen! Just as casting Leone as a porn star in the movie is purely coincidental and has nothing in common with any person living or dead.
Jism 2 could have been a porn flick with a story – like cherry on the cake. But instead it has such a bizarre plot that you will wish it was just porn and nothing more. And to add to it, Leone never really takes off all her clothes and there is no real sex. Frustrating, isn't it?
So here's the deal. Izna [Sunny] is a porn star and she gets hired for a secret mission by police officer Ayaan [Aronoday] after a night of what seems like 'trial-and-error' session. Izna's trial, perhaps, for Ayaan wanted to try her out to know if she could succeed. [In an aside, she has been doing it for 10 odd years, does she really need that test?] She hops right on [don't take it literally!] and no questions asked, Rupees 10 crores get transferred to her account and she's on board. Of course. It is normal for every porn star to get hired for such top secret missions. Honey trap by night, adult star by day. Oh, she also loved. Izna loved a much feared assassin Kabir [Randeep], ex-cop and the man she must get close to in this job. He disappeared one fine night leaving her in her sleep and 6 years later she has to not only get inside his bedroom but get out crucial data from his computer.
Pretending to be an engaged couple, Izna and Ayaan move in to the house opposite to Kabir's in Sri Lanka where he is moonlighting as a musician and then the seduction begins. If you can call it so – for it includes Izna throwing a stone at Kabir and the man saying sorry to her in blood. Tacky.
Izna not only manages to get Kabir back to eating out of her hands, after all he is a man, she says smugly, she gets in to his house agreeing to marry him. Collateral damage is Ayaan who seems to have fallen in love with her. But the mission is supreme. So when Ayaan kills Sumit, Kabir's right hand man, all secrets spill out.
We won't give away the semblance of a plot that Jism 2 has. But it is completely bizarre, contrived and absurd. Serious lack of research, dear director! 'I am not a terrorist, I am a patriot,' says Kabir whose war is now against the very country he defended – but unfortunately the emotions don't come across.
Leone has mastered the accent but expressions need tremendous work. She can just seduce. Period. But anger, irritation, heartache, heartbreak... let us not even start on those! She has one stoic expression throughout. She doesn't need to seduce, men want to sleep with her anyway, we wonder what the fuss was all about. The director claims that she cast Leone on instinct. We are sure it came hand in hand with tremendous capacity to exhibit believable on-screen chemistry with her co-stars. Aronoday seems very uncomfortable, he almost sleepwalks through his role. The only place he seems remotely awake is when he screams at a superior. He was much better in Yeh Saali Zindagi.
Randeep is good in his role. He has something bristling and sinister about him, a darker shade of what we saw in Cocktail. He's the only one who is believable in the whole story.
Skip the movie. Watch porn instead. Atleast that has a climax.
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